WHPR [Day 1,107] - Updates, India, and the Media

Day 1,107, 19:44 • Published in USA USA • by James S. Brady Press Room


Oh my gawd, meat

We’ve finally been granted what we’ve worked so hard to attain. Through our constant export of McDonald’s, Taco Bell, and Burger King (fun fact: Burger King is called Hungry Jack’s in Australia) we have attained the prestigious award of having nearly a third of our states given cattle. Essentially, the admin is reworking the economic system (again). I would educate you myself, but I’m tired and apparently we have someone to do that for you.

The Department of Education published an article about the new changes detailing what we know about them. I encourage all Americans to subscribe to this. Oftentimes, it has information not just for new players but for veterans as well. This is one of those times. Go. Learn to read. Then read the article.



Fortress: India

The region of Kerala is our new Indian fortress, not Karnataka. We don’t have to pay rent for this one either, so it’s pretty great. It has the fish we need to decimate the Yellowfin Tuna into yester-year. It’s one of the high fish regions in the world and America might struggle to get its hands on another. Therefore, it’s important that you move via Segway to Kerala. If you ask the Department of the Interior nicely, I’m sure they’ll send you a ticket. It’s kind of their job to do it.



Media Idol

Writer’s note: You can tell I didn’t write this because it has pictures. Credit goes to Athanaric.

Media Idol: Round 2
With the first round of voting complete, we have our semi-finalists:

Ace451
Athanaric
CRoy
Dave Richards
HobbitTon
Joe DaSmoe
Lieutenant Scheisskopf
PigInZen
Rod Damon
Sam Wystan

Congrats to all! These quarter-finalists will all receive a special banner they may use in their paper proving that their paper is a quality subscription and should be watched. But wait! Our next round is beginning, and at stake is membership into the elite eUS government sponsored writer’s guild, the Eagles Network!



The Eagles Network is a national association of the nation’s best writers, as voted by you! They will not in any way be relegated to writing government articles or any of that nonsense. We do that, so bugger off.

Instead, they will get access to early information, free ad space whenever they wish in the WHPR and The Pony Express, as well as another special highlight...

[img]http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTlgKJfNR6AB0eTS0Y6O7OBYrc_VevY9GVSjLVfbuGGTk8LZv6n[/img]
Yeah, kinda like that.

SO VOTE HERE NOW IN THE SECOND ROUND OF MEDIA IDOL!!!

Remember, only 5 will make it through the voting process, so think carefully. After that, those five will go on to compete in another special opportunity.

VOTE NOW!





Don’t hate me,

Kentel
Greatest White House Press Release Writer of all time. Of all time.