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Potpourri

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Jokes

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Year after year Bubba's wife pleaded with him to take her fishing, but he kept telling her she would not enjoy it. She finally wore him down so he consented, and early one morning they took off for the lake.

They had not been there very long when the fish began biting. Almost as fast as they cast, a fish would bite, and they reeled it in.

After catching their limit, Bubba said, "Verna Lou, sweet thing, I'm sorry. You've been good luck and I'm gonna bring you with me the next time. If you'll mark the spot where we caught all these fish, we'll go home."

On the way home, Bubba turned to Verna Lou and said, "Sweet thing, how did you mark the spot where all the fish are so next time I'll know?"

"Bubba, darlin', I put a big 'X' on the side of the boat right down closest to the water."

"Sweet thang, that's about the dumbest thing I ever seen you do. Don't you know that won't work? We may not get the same boat the next time!"

-o-o-o-o-

I was walking to lunch with my friend, Tristan, and discussing the need to start an exercise program. A mutual friend, Chris, joined us on the walk and after listening to Tristan and I talk about fitness, Chris said, "I'm exercising every day."

"You're exercising?" we asked. "Daily?"

"Yeah!" he replied. "I swim after work on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. And I run on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

We stopped walking, and I asked Chris, "How long have you been doing this?"

"Oh, I don't start until next week!" he replied.

-o-o-o-o-

In my job as an electronics salesman, I've seen the rise in popularity of sport-utility vehicles and minivans, which has created a market for rear-seat entertainment. Monitors that keep passengers occupied with movies and television have been selling like crazy.

One day as I was showing a young couple how a monitor could play videos, DVDs, and even pick up local TV stations, the husband asked matter-of- factually, "Does it get cable?"

-o-o-o-o-

The majority of HMO plans I've seen can be likened to hospital gowns -- you only think you're covered.