Jokes of Today, Puns of Tomorrow

Day 2,709, 18:40 Published in Australia Australia by LostMeMarbles

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Hello and welcome to The Daily Skittle.

I don't have much time on my hands because there is an idiot with a gun runnin round near me so I'm just putting up some jokes and puns ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JOKES

Yo momma's so fat when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.

Yo momma is so stupid she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

I went to the bank the other day and asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me!

A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked puzzled. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
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PUNS

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

There was a sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.

A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.
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(question of the moment)QOM: KNow any funny jokes? Let me know by voting and commenting saying what they are.

PEACE ON EARTH. LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST
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