Join the new world

Allegedly Genuine Extracts from Letters Sent to Landlords.



· I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

· The lavatory is blocked; this is caused by the boys next door throwing their balls on the roof.

· This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door.

· The toilet seat is cracke😛 where do I stand?

· I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.

· I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

· Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

· I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

· I am still having trouble with smoke in my built in drawers.

· The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

· The person next door has a large erection in his back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

· Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk. Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.

· Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.

· Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

· Would you please send a man to repair my downspout. I am an old age pensioner and need it straight away.

· I awoke this morning and found my water boiling.

· Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap. My wife got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.

· I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 5:30 his cock wakes me up, and it is getting too much.

· When the workmen were here they put their tools in my wife's new drawers and made a mess. Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy.