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Australian Kiwi Jokes about too Many Kiwis
An Aussie, a Kiwi, and a South African are at a bar one night having a beer. All of a sudden the South African drinks his beer, takes off his diamond encrusted watch, pulls out a gun and shoots the watch to pieces. He says "In Seth Efrika we have so many diamonds that we don't need to wear the same diamond twice".The Kiwi (obviously impressed by this) drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says "Wull bro, in Niw Zulland we have so much sand to make the glass that we don't need to drink out of the same cup twice".
The Australian then pulls out his gun and shoots the Kiwi.





A Kiwi walks into the local unemployment office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi! I hate being on welfare, I'd really rather have a job."

The clerk behind the Centrelink desk says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes.

Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage.

The starting salary is $200,000 a year".

The Kiwi says, "You're bullshitting me!"

The Centrelink officer says, "Yeah, well, you started it".