I AM LEAVING, SAID THE DRAMA QUEEN.....
Coltan Bonobo
The collapse of the game continues, with player after player announcing their departure. Each new exit seems to get that little bit more thespian, with weepy eyes and handkerchiefs. Now it's not for me to suggest that these highly charged, emotional situations have even the faintest whiff of hamming, but there does appears to be an evolving standard formulae to each grandiose exits.
Let me try to boil this down, by way of support to those who are also considering their own eSuicide. Think of it as "off-boarding" advice,
1. Subject writes of their deep love for the community, the game when they joined and their friends in the game.
2. Subject writes about how the game has got worse and how the sense of community has diminished.
3. (Optional) Subject takes a sideswipe at the admins and complains about the money they have spent on the game.
4. In a (rare) show of game community, a long list of players will eSob in the comments section, beg them to stay, wish them well in the future, and tell them they were fantastic friends.
5. Subject will reply to almost every post, reveling in the final bittersweet moment before the eSoil starts to fall upon their heads.
Then silence, as the wonderful light they once shone upon the community fades to black, with sweeping strings and crashing cymbals. Perhaps a sniffle or two, and the faint sound of an eAngels harp.
eGovernments should stop spending energy on "New Player Education" and reallocate resources to eFuneral Services. Perhaps there is a potential market in helping players to write their own Eulogy? Voters Club will be replaced with "Mourners Club" and ensuring that the comments are full of the right outpouring of emotion......
"Please select the number of eMourners you would like, and the emotion level - 1 being modest sadness and 5 being wailingandsobbingandscratchingatthedirt sadness."
Another great business opportunity lies in the longer term run-up to the actual eDeath. Think of it as assisted eSuicide, where services are provided to build your in-game relationships and increase your in-game standing; just enough in advance to create a massive surge of unbridled sobbing at your departure announcement. Oh, the drama. What sweet sorrow.
Undoubtedly, eDeath is too painful for some and they rise like a Phoenix after a few days...or are saved from the stone slab by their adoring fans just before the poison touches their frail eLips. Others are magically reincarnated in sons or daughters.
Many, somewhat sadly, do indeed perish never to be seen again.
The point of this? What's the point in anything luvvies. This is a game you know. Chin chin.....
Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
Of all the wonders that I yet have heard,
It seems to me most strange that men should fear;
Seeing that death, a necessary end,
Will come when it will come.
Comments
Yes, I'm bored so I'm writing.....
Drama queen needs attention... here's my comment.. njoi
This reminds me of dscape chaos.
needs more boobies
Touche. I've announced that I'm leaving the game, it's not a good strategy at all, makes it much harder. I once quit for about eighteen months, but didn't say anything to anyone before I did, thats a much better way to do it.
But quitting means not returning....and here you are....
This article reads like commentary on the preceding one, good show ole chap, well played.
Damn you, you just took all the fun out of quitting. Now I have to stay.
Some people announce their retirement so often they should be a rock band. They keep coming back for a final tour over and over again.
The Exalted Druids
Excellent analyses of my goodbye articles.
(rarest) eDie and take a few with you on your way out
I was hoping, but alas no...
Only one way to quit!
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/-dental-corps-statement-regarding-quitting-and-how-to--2314656/1/20
Now I know who to contact for funeral services when I ragequit!
We do a very tasteful embalming line and will bury you with your funny cat videos.
Are you leaving yet?
And leave behind such warm and compassionate friendships like yours? How could I? I feel quite emotional even at the thought of not experiencing the sharpness of your wit each glorious day.
Much truth. What we need is a really good death cult around here.
so good
Alas, this is a trend I've seen played out too many times. Makes me miss old friends. The worst of course, are those that disappear from the game with little or no notice, because of real-life tragedy. 🙁 Such as an old friend Tyler F. Durden. :'(
I don't know the Tyler story. What happened?
Long Long Ago, in a Galax... Erm... Back in v1, Tyler F. Durden became an eCitizen shortly after I did. He became very active in eCanadian politics as I had done and this is back during our first real foray into truly international warfare, which led to eCanada's first wipe. During that time, Tyler helped hundreds of eCanadians move, get food etc. (the mechanics were different back then, doing all that was far more work then than it is now) and get established to help retake eCanada. Simultaneously creating a massively popular political movement in eCanada and working tirelessly with one of eCanada's first militias. (Non-government supported groups with no ingame mechanic of affiliation, this predated the creation of the MU mechanic)
So, Tyler was friends with many of us old fogeys, or our enemies depending on politics, but suffice it to say, he was a pillar of the community and well known and loved. Unfortunately the player of Tyler F. Durden, was killed unexpectedly in a traffic fatality (if memory serves). It took a couple days for word to get back to the player base, but it was still a shock. So if you see someone say something like "Tyler RIP" or "RIP TFD" You now know why.