eBrazil: Know Thy eEnemy eAustralia.

Day 755, 02:04 • Published in Australia Australia • by Dartreal


With war pending on eAustralian shores there has been a lot of preparation from the eAustralia public. Never have we been so united before. Arguing neighbours have put aside their disputes and are now marching side-by-side with one another. Police officers are freeing prisoners and are allowing them to repent for their crimes by fight for eAustralia.

The unity can even be seen in eCanberra. Bickering politicians are now getting drunk together and singing songs all because of the “threat” we face from eBrazil. Everyone is on stand by. Everyone is armed to the teeth with the best weapons eAustralia can produce. We’re all waiting and ready to show eBrazil what eAustralia is made of… but are we really ready?

Yes we can arm ourselves with weapons, but do we know what we’re going to be firing them at? Has anyone stopped to consider just what we, eAustralia, are about to face? Well, while everyone was busy getting themselves armed with the biggest guns, my reporters at the Word Down Under went to eBrazil to find out some information.

Disguised as Carnaval dancers, my reporters easily got into the eBrazilian Military Headquarters, gathering information and taking photos of what eBrazil are bringing to eAustralia. It is very important for all eAustralians to know what we’re going to be up against so please, view these photos and read all information carefully. It might save your life.



eBrazilian Striker Bomb Squad.
Leave it to eBrazil to combine soccer (or football as it’s commonly known as) and war. The eBrazilian football teams aren’t made up of the best players in the world – they are all sent to the military where they become part of the “Striker Bomb Squad”. These players are as dangerous as they look and pack one vicious kick. They can hit a target with pinpoint accuracy though it isn’t that hard to hit anything with a bomb that size. The Strikers can kick a bomb over 100 meters at 100 miles an hour! At close combat one has to make sure they are no where near their deadly feet. Watch out for these guys eAustralia!



Carnaval Commandos.
Don’t be fooled eAustralian men – these eLadies aren’t here to keep you entertained! They are like the sirens of Ancient Greece, they’ll charm you with their songs and once you’re mesmerised, BAM – you’re harpy food! The eBrazilian Military take the hottest and prettiest girls and train them to be deadly fighters, and sexy dancers. They’ll use their good looks to sucker you to them. eLadies should watch out as well. The Carnaval Commandos have been trained to “fight on both sides”. Beware of these beauties, boys and girls!



Flying Piranhas.
These deadly little fish of the Amazon have been genetically altered by eBrazilian scientists so that they both survive outside the water and can fly. That’s right, these tiny devils can now fly and live outside the water thanks to the geniuses at eBrazil. What makes matters worse is that the eBrazilians have trained them to attack their enemies. With an appetite for eAustralian flesh, it’s believe that the eBrazilian military will be unleashing the flying Piranhas on our brave troops. Beware eAustralia!



Christ the Revenger 3000.
What an insult! This has to be the biggest slap to our eAustralian face! Obviously trying to replicate our MECHA KOALA 2000, the eBrazilian Military have designed this gigantic robot and are looking to test it out on eAustralian soil. It’s equipped with chain guns, missiles and fill up a soccer field three times with its napalm – they really love their soccer in eBrazil. How will it compare against the MECHA KOALA 2000? Our bad boy is going to smash their robot to pieces! It’s going to be a battle for the ages and tickets are available right now!

There you have it eAustralia – now you will be ready to repel the eBrazilian invasion. I have this to say eBrazil: we’re ready for you! You have no idea what you’ve got coming to you! This is going to be one game of soccer that you’re not going to win! eAustralia is united, standing side-by-side and together we’ll bring you down!

You say: Money! Madness! Power! Brazilian Power!



I say: That sounds like the worst battle cry I’ve ever heard!



We’re ready eBrazil - are you!?
JUST BRING IT!!!