citizen finds cure to cancer and solution to global warming

Day 1,315, 12:18 • Published in Japan Japan • by Fruitcommando

First off, hello friends. I haven't written an article for quite some time, but I assure you quality is still in our agenda. It's no secret global warming is heating up the world, all the polar bears and Canadians respectively are losing their homes! Sadly, Global Warming is not the only thing we have to worry about...the ever growing epidemic of cancer is still among us. Luckily, FruitKraut Industries has discovered a cure for both of these problems. Transient and lead scientist of the team, lyuline, said "The brain tissue of eChinese citizens have actually been warped from so much propaganda and warmongering; Due to this the brain has developed a high amount of radiation. When consumed, it begins a chemo-like process that cures you of cancer 98.7% of the time (some people just can't be cured of their cancer)" when asked. Only time will tell if this is correct, but one thing is for sure; eChinese are putting off a lot of radiation!


Lyuline in the laboratory.

Lyuline has also discovered the cure to global warming, at a press conference (a big box on the corner of the street in which lyuline stood on) she said "I have no doubt that nothing will go wrong with this plan". The president, EckaStein IV of the Empire of Judah has agreed that this plan is foolproof. As to what the plan is we are not sure, they are claiming a rise in tax is needed to complete it though; I for one am very excited!


the plan, released to public from wiki leaks