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A lion in the zoo was lying in the sun licking its rear end when a visitor turned to the zoo keeper and said, "That's a docile old thing isn't it?" "No way," said the zoo keeper, "it's the most ferocious beast in the zoo. Why just an hour ago it dragged a Frenchman into the cage and completely devoured him." "Hardly seems possible" said the astonished visitor, "but why is it lying there licking its rear?" "The poor thing is trying to get the taste out of its mouth."

The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her dog. The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. I need that seat." The French woman looked down her nose at the American, sniffed and said, You Americans. Your are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little FiFi is using that seat?" The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there?". I'm very tired." The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant....Imagine!" The American didn't say anything else, he leaned over, picked up the dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her honor and chastise the American. An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You know,sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, Sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."

A Frenchman, an American, and a Brit were all busy getting drunk in Saudi Arabia when the cops burst in. They were soon sentenced to death, but through good lawyers, the three men were able to reduce their sentence to life. As luck would have it, it was a Saudi holiday, so the judge said, "Because it's a holiday you will each recieve 20 lashes and be let go. It is customary to grant one wish before punishment. The Brit thinks and says, "Strap a pillow on my back." They do, but it only holds for 10 lashes. The Frenchman sees this, and requests two pillows on his back. These only hold for 15 lashes. The judge turns to the American and says "Because you are from such a respectable country, you get 2 wishes." The American replies, "I wish to be flogged 100 times, not 20." The judge thinks this is very honerable and asks "And your second?" The American answers "Strap the Frenchman to my back."