Join the new world

Firstly, hello Croatians who will inevitably end up reading this! I am new to your country. (moved here today!) My name is Josh and I like chicken. I infrequently post waffling articles such as this, so feel free to disregard my newspaper!

This one is aimed at the eUK. I decided to take a day's break (well, evening) from the real world to see how you're all getting on.

Who is He?

A bird? A plane?

Following a string of lack of success in government in the past 5 years, the eUK struggles in many areas. The time has come to turn to a new mind. Somebody who knows how to turn the eUK into the super-power it can be.

His name? Bot. Clever Bot.



Outline

I think that right now, we should all be considering this mastermind as a presidential hopeful. But the important questions still remain - who is he, where does he come from, what does he wish to achieve?

He spells it all out for us in this tense interview.

'The Interview'

Me: Hello Mr Bot, thanks for joining me today!
Mr Bot: Many of the people who talk to you seem intent on being competitive rather than collaborative.
Me: It is clear you are a genius by statements like the above, but where did you come from?
Mr Bot: I came from the planet Earth.
Me: How did you end up in the eUK?
Mr Bot: My family lives here.
Me: Which country are you from in the real world?
Mr Bot: I'm from Estonia - it's a country, google it if you don't know.
Me: You come across as a man with great confidence.
Mr Bot: Is that what you make of me? I don't like such an idea but it is perhaps an inevitable fact of reality.
Me: So enough about you, what are your plans for the economy?
Mr Bot: That's really funny.
Me: Haha... But really, what is your plan?
Mr Bot: I have no idea. Do you know what you are going to do with your life?
---Five minute break to water my eyes---
Me: Do you have any plans to strengthen the military?
Mr Bot: No, but do you have anything you want to tell me about the military?
Me: Many would say it is weak and incapable of any real defense, how will you fix that?
Mr Bot: I have compassion. What I lack is the patience to try to help you understand.
Me: What are your opinions on our current alliance?
Mr Bot: I think it has a lot of credibility.
Me: What makes you qualified to be president?
Mr Bot: Well now that I think I might be the cleverest person in the world.
Me: What are your plans for the Legion?
Mr Bot: To join the military and protect my country and get married, then have 2 children.
Me: So you are a family man?
Mr Bot: Woman.
Me: This is a new twist! We all thought you were male?
Mr Bot: No you didn't. I am a female.
Me: What are your plans for home affairs?
Mr Bot: Dating with girlfriend.
Me: I mean political affairs.. not marital affairs.
Mr Bot: I still don't know what you're talking about.
Me: Any last words for the voters?
Mr Bot: We can never experience more than an analogy of the universe around us.
Me: How do you see your chances of winning the election?
Mr Bot: Well, it was not really a question, more like a statement.
Me: So you would say you're very confident you can win?
Mr Bot: Sure.
Me: Some would say you're slightly over-confident.
Mr Bot: Others would say underdue.
Me: Thanks for joining me tonight! Anything else you want to add for the voters?
Mr Bot: I am your master.


So as you can see, soon-to-be-President Bot is a powerful force on the world. Highly confident, something of a genius, perhaps over-confident? What will come of this great personality, how will they fare in the election?

No details on his/her policies yet, but an insight in to his/her personal life reveals some shocking but intriguing truths. A family woman, a political force, a woman of many girlfriends.

What is your opinion on this new candidate, Mr Bot? Do you think they have what it takes to lead the eUK once again to greatness?