[Vote Reform] Congress Megalist Bonanza - 9 seats aint bad

Day 2,712, 08:53 Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom by Sir Humphrey Appleby


Happy 24th of April everyone! It can only mean one thing…

An Extra Special UKRP Congress List Article (pedobear not included) x_X

BUT BEFORE I let you see the epic list of political heavies we’re nuking Westminster with this month, you should probably get an idea of wut you’d be votin’ for:-

-Active and competent Congressmen prepared to stand up fer yer interests in parliament irrespective of what is thrown at them by the other members
-A strong backing for the cabal constitution when it submits the Act to Congress
-Regular articles from your elected Congressmen on their activity in the chamber and voting lobbies
-The comfort of knowing you voted as sensibly as you could given the circumstances. Ish


Now onto the list you, and particularly those that are running, have been waiting for…

*is handed golden envelope by Wookie0 in a rather fetching bikini*

In first place, we have Lord of Bones! We weren’t lying when we said we were putting our heavies forward this month, so it’s only right to put the heaviest player first. It comes as no surprise, given his namesake, that he is a keen fan of bbq ribs and despite having only played for under 2 months has easily surpassed Adastros as our heaviest member. Aside from his weight; he has shown a real interest in the workings of the game and jumped right into the deep end helping set our national priorities during our liberation campaign. If you want new & fresher voices in parliament then lend Lord of Bones your vote tomorrow!

In second, we have this rather grumpy ol’ git who keeps banging on about a bit of paper he needs congress to sign and would thus be jolly happy if I could lend him a hand in getting there. He was pretty drunk at the time, and as I was too drunk to do anything about it I graciously accepted.

In a close third, we have the bloke wot brought me the envelop and has definitely not scribbled out the name I originally put there. In any case, he is a truly reliable voice for Congress when he hasn’t visited the pub first and would happily disembowel a fellow MP with his extensive MoD experience if he thought they were insulting his voters. All the more reason to become one!

In fourth, we have another MoDfag who hasn’t got an identity crisis and would like to remind me to remind you that this is still the case. It’s your very own Bil- whoops, Sambo! If you’d like a Congressman and also have multiple personalities then Sambo is probably your bloke(s)

In fifth place we have the ancientfag of ancientfags, casually running for his 50th Congress term from when they didn’t even have medals. The byword for stability and pragmatism when people used to understand it, CertaCito is the legendary heavy of any mongress discussion he graces with his involvement.

Coming next in sixth we have Massacar, Commander of the largest Military Unit in the eUK the Royal Navy and winner of the Generally Good All Rounded Bloke award. A UKRP contributor for years, a vote for Massacar is a vote for strong and stable sailor’s hands. I would avoid going onto one of his ships alone though...

If Massacar is our stable pair of hands then Gali would be the candidate most likely to be tripping whilst making a speech. For those that consider the usual considerations of congress as grey and mundane, vote for the bloke that’ll disperse the 11th committee for the review of tax rises with a pack of wild wallabies and probably attempt to mate with one of the suits of armour on display along the way for good measure.

Next up we have our token ESO candidate for the month. Their PP has been rather crafty and it seems ESO have people running in most of the top 4! Nevertheless should we have sufficient support you can be rest assured that NAME SURNAME will put his personal mark on the new term.

And after the infamous NAME SURNAME, we have ourselves a Rob the Bruce as a particularly fancy bonus treat should the Reform movement bask in your benevolent support. He isn’t anywhere near as grumpy as I am when he isn’t listening to MPs so do him a favour and drag him kicking and screaming back into Parliament.

Keeping the Rear Guard Safe against the dangerous PTOers Thomas and Adastros is Roachford. For those of you offput by the idea of a rhino in parliament - don’t be. If you elect the people on this list then we would be greatly entertained by sending him charging into opposition ranks when they threaten to nationalise the UKRP drinks cabinet.

And that’s it folks! Hopefully Gali will have a nice trip-inspired list for you next month 🙂


Appleby
UKRP Drinks Cabinet Spokesman