[vCP] CP Announcement

Day 3,174, 04:42 Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom by Deputy Prime Minister

Statement regarding our CP

Hello.

As you’re probably aware, our elected CP Sir Humphrey Appleby has been missing for over a week. No one is quite sure why he’s gone AWOL - reports that he was last seen on a Jamaican beach with a hammock and a bottle of rum are uncorroborated. It would have been Talisker for a start.



Anyway, if a CP goes AWOL it falls upon the vCP to take over his or her duties until something more important happens. And as I am the vCP, that means me taking over. Therefore, as of yesterday, I have become the Acting CP of the eUK. This state of affairs will continue until…

[1] Apples shows up
[2] Congress impeaches the real CP and puts something else in place
[3] Woldy exercises his rights as a dictator to take over everything and blow a raspberry at government and congress
[4] A new CP is elected in the usual way

Given that the next CP election is due in one week, my guess is that option 3 will prevail (although congress are currently discussing the impeachment option).

So, for the time being at least, please treat me with all the usual scorn and disdain you would usually reserve for the CP. And if you have any actual business you would normally bring to the CP, I’m your man.



War with the septics*
With all this going on, our cheeky colonial cousins from the U S of A decided that now would be the perfect time to invade our green and pleasant land. To be honest, if I was facing the prospect of Trump as president I’d be looking longingly to foreign shores as well.



While the timing isn’t helpful, we’re not the sort of country to let minor logistical inconveniences get in the way of glory, so rest assured that we are all over this, like a m'urican with doughnuts (or “donuts” if you can’t spell properly).

Before I took over Sir Jimmy Savile (MoD) and Aaron Mark Daniels (MoFA) were already doing a sterling job of running our military and diplomatic campaign, so that will continue unchanged. To provide some extra assistance I’ve moved Sir Charles Moncrieff from MoHA to MoD. We can do without a MoHA for the final week of this government’s term.

We’ve also secured the backing of many of our friends and allies, so we’re looking forward to fighting side-by-side with them on the battlefield, and then treating them to lots of proper beer served in proper measures.



What you can do…
[1] Fight! - check the daily orders in the MoD newspaper every day and fight where requested. These orders are also being distributed to all the key eUK MU commanders, so you should see them as your DOs.

[2] Don’t start RWs - we have plans in place (which include our allies) that will allow us to concentrate our damage where and when it’s needed. Unauthorised RWs will only distract from this and split our damage. Rest assured, RWs - in the right places - are all part of the plan.

[3] Stock up on weapons! - you can get 25 Q7s from the MoD’s Call To Arms just by commenting on the MoD Daily Order articles (open to eUK citizens and allies). MoD has also reopened the Tank Fund, where you can buy discounted Q7s direct from the eUK government. Check the MoD newspaper for details of both schemes.

[4] Donate - COs are already being placed on key battles, and the MoD Call To Arms programme and Tank Fund needs supplies. If you’re a wealthy oldfag with cash or weapons to spare, and you’re looking for the warm glow you get from helping your nation in its time of need, please contact our MoD Sir Jimmy Savile, who’ll be happy to take them off your hands.

[5] Annoy as many Americans as you can - write articles, comment on their articles, shout in your friends feed. Let them know that we won’t go quietly



TL😉R?
I’m the boss (for now)
Fight Americans
Read the MoD newspaper


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All endorsements received by this office will be spent on rum and old Trojan records re-distributed in amusing and creative ways.


[*] Cockney rhyming slang - look it up