(Editorial) eAmerica won, Groot lost
Day 4,735, 19:55
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Published in USA 
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by
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by Josh Whitehead
Join my Discord Server “Silverbeard’s poop deck”
Without a doubt, this month's election was a damn nail biter. Really uncanny compared to real life’s circle jerk. Except we know the results at the end of the day....of every election.
eRep life of political fun, within eUS we had two candidates;
Person A is a well respected Federalist who has the valor of a brilliant mind and soul. A smart soul. Person A is always thinking of others, proving themself to represent us and continuing to strive upwards and onwards.
Person B has caused trouble and continues to do so in and out of game. Behaves like a child. Well respected within We The Whites....i mean People, has been pointed out a sexest individual on eRep player(s) and chased them out see here for reference on an old piece I wrote about groot and probably likes to pee in the shower....at Home Depot (kidding)
We’re talking about Groot of Cascadia and Cthulhu...
Reader: But Groot only lost by a few votes
Yes but a loss is a loss. Yet, it was a small margin and that's still scary. Scary and sad that 147 people don’t find Groots behavior.... Not professional or kind. Better yet, fit to hold office and wipe us off the map...again.
We're ok for now but we need to do better. Better at denouncing at the behavior people show us within in-game and out.
Reader: But you ran for CP and lost too...so ha!
Yes but near the end of the elections, I conceded and expressed to my fellow party goers and the public that they should vote for Tyler. In fact, Tyler won and I lost and I am ok with that. The American people voted for a guy who has proven himself again and again. He’s a good guy and so am I.
Reader: Yeah but, why...
Ya know what... shut up. I don’t need to explain myself. Anywho....
In the end, the American people provided us that Cthulhu is the right candidate for the job and I look forward to another great month within 2020. What will the future of Groot be? Probably still be a tree sucking up all that winning
America just ain't ready to have a recent CP raise hell and leave a bad taste in our dirty....dirty mouths...uncanny, right?
Have a good weekend
-DSS
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Comments
So America, This is what you elected? Really?
https://pastebin.com/KwhtN46h
Your point?
Please enlighten us.
I mean second only to trump (another loser), you have the biggest brain.
Us simple minded peoples do not understand.
For your musical pleasure Groot
Ich Tu Dir Weh I Hurt You
Sorry do not know the Cascadian translation
https://youtu.be/IxuEtL7gxoM
Enjoy
Title: CTHULHU platform for November! 💋 💋
Content: Good evening all! I was roaming the darkest parts of the internet and stumbled upon our newly elected president platform. Since he didn't publish any platform before the election.. I took it upon myself to publish it for him.. 🙂
Goes like this 🙂
Cabinet:
VP: DMJ
• Focus domestic: Get access to all orgs/newspapers straightened out. Work with all departments to ensure they have an org and/or newspaper
• International focus: Who are our best partners for procuring any missing resources? Work with MoFA/MoD to renew secure region list, rental agreements, etc.
• Work with Yui to get all of Discord sorted out. Need for secure rooms. Get more tanks in #warplanning.
CoS: Blande
-deputies: Stormin
• Deputies, Deputies, Deputies
• Setup access in Discord (YUI?), re-arrange/eliminate channels, need secure room on Discord.
Mo😨 zRTx
-deputies: King Harambe
• DoD Orders Newspaper
• You gonna coordinate all CODE targets with Asteria
• CODE targets are to be pushed for first, Asteria targets are OK, but we need to push our agenda.
• Get some of our allies on the eUSA Discord server.
• Use Telegram as needed
NSC: ubuntu21
-deputies: HCMadman
• Target/attack, guerilla strategies -> all of CODE. Hardcore diss on CODE. Pick which countries with Asteria's thoughts to focus. If we have to focus one country a month, so be it. If we end up only focusing one country for multiple months because it is fun, so be it.
• Who do we coordinate on the eUSA off-time zones? MoDs, MUs, need specific contacts so we can message as needed in-game, Discord, Telegram
MoFA: Carlos
-deputies: Dinnyin, Wilker, Shiloh13
• Rental agreements, Missing resources, work with DMJ as necessary.
• You will publicly be nice to everyone. DHS, CTHULHU, zRTx will work behind the scenes to piss on and off all former CODE members. You will constantly be nice to them, while the rest of us piss on them behind the scenes. The more they message you that we are operating contrary to what you tell them, the better.
• Who are the best Asteria countries to coordinate with in general? Same time zone, etc.
• You should constantly be getting messages and sending messages back and forth with other Ministers. Feed the Executive their feedback. The louder and more often the CODE countries message you with grief, the better.
Media: Kevin
-deputies: MelissaRose
• Publicly friends with former CODE members. Behind closed doors, we are going to airstrike and go on the offensive against as many as possible, ONLY under the coordination of Asteria.
• WHPR twice a week. Feel free to include 2 real segments, and one fictious segment (ie, fan-fiction, or highlight an up-standing ecitizen from anywhere in the world)
• POAL citizenry for which country we should Airstrike. This poal may or may not be used when we decide strategically where to hit, but it'll be fun. Focus on 2-4 nations and the goal is that none of these are the actual targets.
• Public apologies for any policy 'mistakes' the administration makes towards countries and leaders. You will always kiss butts while everyone behind the scenes mess with, pisses off and on, and trolls the ##$% out of the chosen targets.
Press Secretary: Paul
-deputies: Dirty Scarlet Silverbeard
• Briefings will be instrumental in engagement. MOAR deputies
• These will all be positive towards ex-CODE members and Asteria, HOWEVER, you need to work with Media team to switch it up once in a while. Periodically, press briefings will 'hide' some truth about our wishes and actions abroad. But keep in mind these are public.
Citizens' Affairs: Herr Vootsman
-deputies: Odysseus Rhymes
• Newspaper
• Program descriptions for WHPR
• funding, we need to spend more money, how do we do this?
Education: Flashback1
-deputies: Pimp, Krapis
• Newspaper
• Funding?
Interior: KingTaco
-deputies: Thee Dude
• Newspaper
• Program descriptions for WHPR
• Funding?
DHS: Tyler Bubblar
-deputies: Dirty Scarlet Silverbeard
• CIA style
• You will work behind the scenes to diss on and off all CODE countries. Our goal is to force them into acting against us while Asteria screw them from behind.
• Enlist 1-2 agents that will be denounced by the administration publicly as 'not involved nor authorized' but will in actuality be working specifically towards our goal of pissing off CODE, as guided by Asteria.
OVERVIEW:
We need a list of each country that is significant, with the following data:
1) Country of importance
a. Government officials:
1. MoFA
2. MoD
3. Important citizens
4. Important tanks
Need this list ASAP, as we gear up to hardcore mess with CODE. Need to get Asteria on-board and to 'allow' them to help us pick whom to target and when. One of our goals is to get as many wars going in the eUSA as possible, so we will need FF medal hunters ready to start RWs at specific times in the correct regions. Need 20-30 people on this list.
Since Groot forgot to make the article more admin friendly, he got reported... so he sent me a more appropriate version for those sensitive snowflake here 🙂
Here's the rest of the article:
As long as we focus on showing Asteria we are NOT flip-flopping, and focus on pissing on CODE, all other matters will proceed amicably. We will rent from and to anyone (even CODE) but we reserve the right to mess them in the
butt whenever we so choose, unless they are willing to change sides. This will be another key to our success, which countries are on the fence right now? Which countries can be easily swayed as being either friends or enemies? How can we turn countries/leaders/important citizens/tanks against each other?
The more we can orchestrate, predict, and manage turmoil; the better we are doing our jobs
...you ok?
Idiot Groot and his Multi Level 18
Muhahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But you lost our little race against Patton!
I'm really not interested in the presidency. But to become dictator of the eUSA...
🙂
"Warning - Potentially offensive content ahead!
Pastebin’s SMART filters have detected potentially offensive or questionable content ahead.
The content you are about to view has been deemed potentially offensive or questionable by our filters, because of this, you’re receiving this warning.
You can continue ahead at your own risk or go back."
Exactly as advertised.
People never learn.
Fool me once, shame on me
Fool me twice. Can't be fooled again
Are you ok?
Nope!
Are you sure?
Nah, Baby Groot just no comprende the internetz
(Please, more Dabya comments, please!!!!!)
Now I'm ok. ❤
Man and fish can coexist!
W
o7
o7
Groot is a poor excuse for a human being. And he still would have been better than a pakled p&ssy, who is only good for lying. laying dumb, transparent plans that only HE thinks are smart, and above all, bending over and taking it.
My favorite part of the article was this:
"Reader: Yeah but, why...
Ya know what... shut up."
Glad you liked it, mine too. It was a great cutaway.
The eUS would lose, whichever of the two clowns won. Read this:
https://pastebin.com/KwhtN46h
°DHS, CTHULHU, zRTx will work behind the scenes to piss on and off all former CODE members. You will constantly be nice to them, while the rest of us piss on them behind the scenes. The more they message you that we are operating contrary to what you tell them, the better.°
HUE HUE HUE
The article omits (accidentally or not) how many bots were detected and blocked around this election ... which is still something, in my opinion 🙂
So who said that "good" bots aren't used for political purposes, eh?
Colin says all of his bots are gooooooodeeeeee!
HUE HUE HUE