WHPR [Day 1,238] OH GOD CANADA YES

Day 1,238, 22:58 • Published in USA USA • by James S. Brady Press Room

Index
1. The Government EXPLODES
2. The Internationale unites us all in song!
3. Military Ad Infinitum




Your government has been working hard today. There’s quite a bit of domestic news to discuss.
To start off, the Department of Interior has published an article thanking eUS citizens for their donations of food to the bewbs4noobs program. In total, about 150 gold worth of food was collected for distribution to new players. We can only imagine what the combination of gluttony and adultery has done for the retention of an online game that panders greatly to the teenage population. Can’t say much for the evangelical population...but I’m sure there’s something for them....somewhere!

Take notice of yet another interview from up and coming writer Alexander Valkor, who has just recently accepted a position as a staff writer for the Department of Interior. Valkor sits down with our Glorious Leader, Emerick, in this short back and forth over the possible societal ramifications of widespread acceptance of determinism, the theoretical properties of Dark Matter, and of course a couple things about Emerick’s presidential past, present and future’s, but that’s negligible.

Guardian of the Second Amendment, Zyria, has formally requested your attention towards the premier program of the eUnited States that promises a chicken in every pot, and a gun in every hand. Arm America is working on distributing military materials to America’s Youth, once again proving that gun laws are for communists. The only requirement is that you have to be level 21 or under to receive aid. Apply here to protect your solemn right to kick ass.

How would you like to meet exotic men and women from far away places? Interested in seeing the great wall of Hello Kitty? How about the mass polbot graves? And who doesn’t want to observe the blood stained sheets of Indonesia’s first ‘Invasion’. Travel the world and meet great individuals by becoming an ambassador for our State Department. Become a True American and apply here.




On the international stage, as the World Map is being drastically altered before our very eyes, Terra is changing it’s leadership structure, and has gone through a transition of power. Straight form the Terra Headquarters, we’ve received a list of the brilliant strategic minds tasked with the administration and glorification of Terra. Among the leaders of the Alliance, two Americans fought their way into the high command, former President Alexander Hamilton and....Henry Arundel. Yea? Both of these individuals will be serving Deputy Supreme Commanders....which I personally don’t understand since I don’t see how you can be a Deputy and Supreme, like it’s kinda confusing...maybe...a...little...
Moving on.

Rusty_Shackleford, a homegrown American writer and avid procrastinator like myself, was kind enough to put the events of the day, militarily, in nice pretty color coded pictures. This pleases my small attention span, and therefore you should take a look too!
Now where was I....

Oh yea. Former President and Minister of Love, Glove, published an article today, giving a little bit of insight into the plans of Terra, and the true meaning of the Canadian land swaps. Oh yea, and he’s getting married to the Secretary General of Terra, FlorenciaC. CONGRATULATE HIM OR DIE. Those are the two options for your possible courses of action.
Choose wisely.




I’m never going to be done reporting on the Military thing ;-;
Eternal Congressmen, Cromstar, gave a thorough informative talk on the structure and aims of the New Army, as well as talking about who the current leaders are. With each day, the new Army gains more legitimacy in the eyes of the public, as the true structure begins to be unveiled to the general public, and some function is achieved.

Completely unknown and mysterious drinker of dos equis, Bobby Burch, delineates exactly where the government went wrong in the handling of the military from the beginning of the JCS structure, through logical examples of brilliant military leaders like Eugene Harlot, and the lack of enforcement on regulations possibly leading to the current situation we’re facing. Seriously, it’s like this guy was there....




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Until next time,
I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me
Civil Anarchy - at your service.