What's So Scary?
NewtonSG
When I noticed a lack of people coming to eAustralia I decided to investigate what could possibly be wrong.
I interveiwed several immigrants whom are attempting to actually get OUT of this beautiful country and what they said shocked me...
...each one of them said "I'm afraid of all these spiders".
I couldn't believe it... Afraid of spiders? That absurd.
So I have decided to make an article on how our spiders are great and how they contribute to the Australian society.
First we have this famous photo taken at 1954 at a beach in Queensland. Here we can see the famous Red-Back spider serving the community by pushing a baby goanna, whose crying woke up the neighbours, into the sea
Nobody is sure what happened to that goanna, I heard it went to east asia soon after that incident but that may be a myth (ごめん)
(and yes, you can't see that it's back is red because its a black and white photo. It was 1954 dammit)
Not only do spiders help the community, but they also care for humans as well. Here you can see the commonly found 'Blankey Spidey' being used to keep us warm at night...
(No it's NOT doing THAT to her, JUST keeping her warm... Jeez you people think bad thoughts.)
Let's see what spiders do in Australia's THRIVING fashion industry. Here we have the famous Hugh Jackman showing off his brand new '8-leg Hat'. It's fashionable AND it keeps those damn flies away, such quality!
And you may know those people who have tattoos of spiders. Well you can show how silly they are by getting a living spider and using it as a tattoo! just go into the shed in the backyard(or the nearest elevator shaft.(be carefull!)in in the city) and BAM you got yourslef a brand new SPIDER TATTOO...
You can use it to impress the ladies 😉
(or men) (or both)
Now I hear all the time from foreigners saying "But spiders are poisonous!". Well, I wouldn't call it poisonous. in fact it gives us many health benefits if they do bite us! 1 in 10 of all Australians will get bitten by a spider
You can see the results of this below.
That's right, 1 in every 10 Australians are in fact Spidermen (or Spiderwoman)
So come to Australia everybody and enjoy a life in harmony with our fellow spiders!
Comments
So what about the snakes.
and pedophiles
And don't forget the drop bears!
cool
Must be the backpacker-killers.
LOL
There's no such thing as a Pedodropbear. That's an urban legend. Everyone knows that a Pedobear is just a bear that has the ability to appear anywhere near children. And everyone knows that a Dropbear is a bear that has the ability to appear anywhere near Australia's enemies. So a Pedodropbear would be a bear that has the ability to appear anywhere near Australia's enemy children. That's just nonsense! Everyone knows that when a child in Argentina disappears it's their own government making that child disappear because he or his parents were vocal against the government. Pedodropbear, bah, that's just Argentinian propaganda to trick their people into thinking their own government wouldn't do such horrible things.
Lemme get this straight, Does Australia ned more people in Erepublik?...... Dropbears... lol