JOHANNESBURG - Far be it from me to insult anyone's religion. So right up front, let's take jokes out of it. After all, That-Man-Van never raped anyone.
This isn't about a religion. And it most definitely is not about being blessedly divine. I'm writing about regular eSA manly avatars. Mortal avatars. No special gifts from Prelen evident. Just horribly and inexcusably flawed men. Some would say, sick men. I would say probable criminals, but men, nonetheless.
Unfortunately the peeps implied in the title of this piece is also, until the end of the month, the head of the eRepublik church. The eR Pope, better known in eSA as the Poes (weakened vernacular), sor, I mean Pous. A man promoting the graces of forgiveness. A man mired in the business of masks and deceit, like we say, the Poes, sor... die Pous.
This man, I'll call him Prelen, as I have called him since I first wrote about him on Die Ware Naboom, has announced he is resigning his position as the global Aardvark, ahead of the eChurch Assembly, in just a matter of weeks. Reportedly, the first poes (neè pous, again, vernacular) to do so in seven centuries. Proof, perhaps, that there is such a thing as a guilty conscience?
Before you get all up in arms about faith and spirituality, or the vote count of this article, (and perhaps a simple swear word), don't. I whole-heartedly believe in my eFaith. In fact, I am one in millions who have prayed for this day. Not by any sense of respect to my own eRepublik upbringing and not in light of any eFaith or respect in the organization (read poes) of the eRepublik church. Rather in the light of my profound belief in a higher spiritual power and the profound disgust I feel toward acts of violence against people.
That whole "Supreme Deity Prelen hears you prayers" thing deeply troubles me. I'm certain that Prelen couldn't give a hoot (a polite word there, I have others far more accurate that I'm holding back, and not holding back, like 'poes', nee vernacular pous), about the incumbent winning his first eRepublik Rating or his own Nobody award last night.
I suspect that if Prelen listened to the prayers of eCitizens, he would have been intervening constantly in the dark corners of the libraries, eRepublik schools and tuck shops; the hunting grounds where so very many teaches prey on their youngest and most vulnerable charges.
He's got the position down, now someone just needs to lean him up against the school hall. If Prelen does answer prayers, I would at least suggest that he must have a very long list and a fouled up sense of priorities.
And at the head of the snake of these criminal acts that are, in the least, a shockingly large part of the priesthood, is the poes, I mean pous, called Prelen I, will personally hunt down Prelen Normalperson Poeserny, alias Bob, and burn his cabin down while pretending he was in it while hiding from LAPD snowfighting personnel.
And this week he is resigning. With all of the fanfare of the eRepublik church to honour him, and all of the shame of victims of his eChurch haunting him.
"Excuse me Mr. Prelen, did Dick Cheney matter?". He wouldn't know, but we know Dick Cheney didn't even care!
~ Another article consumed for eRepublik use
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