The extreme relevance of non relevant stuff

Day 2,625, 12:25 Published in Switzerland Slovenia by Doplerine

So, It seems that Switzerland has been getting a lot of land back. But are we still relevant?(and more importantly, how do we become even MORE relevant)
So the land we got back from Slovenia, sure is usable, but is shit. All we have is fruit. Sure, there's the new resource wars thingy and we have like some wood (not that type of wood, dirty boy/girl) so i say, we nuke some guys. But I hear your guys' arguaments such as "oh, think of all the children" and stuff.

I have thought of the children...and fuck 'em.

We need to become relevant again, and how you may ask?

By reclaiming land and getting more land from our neighbours, nuking them, and, just for the shits and giggles, prance around them, bear naked while chugging seven times the suggested amount of alcohol for knocking out an african elephant.

Sure, we will have some casualties, but trust me, if we want to stay relevant again, we all need to sacrifice a little bit.

Including the children. Im not touching those diapers/nappies.