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Book of the Badger Chapter 1: Ceiling Cat's First Law
According to the Book of the Badger, the eWorld began when a few megabytes were pushed together by Ceiling Cat's mere vision. And so, he look upon the world and his tongue cursed the sand. He decided that he could not live on the same world as such deformed dirt, and ascended to the sky. He created the Great Sky Hole to watch over the eWorld.

The world was boring without any beings to roam it, and so he set upon the eWorld a Wise eBadger. The eBadger danced, and the dust and earth grew unsettled due to this dancing. The dirt came together to dance alongside him as many new badgers. The Wise eBadger noticed the disgusting dances of some of the lesser eBadgers and sentenced them to leave his sight. They ventured across the world, and many ventured into the heat. They shaved their hair and looked funny. They were called the eHumans. Other eBadgers were not so lucky. The Wise Badger took their heads from their bodies because of their feathery fur.

The Wise Badger saw the error of his ways to discriminate, but it was too late. The Headless Ones had spread across the world, appearing every turn one of the Furless Ones made. He cried and moaned to Ceiling Cat, asking him to punish the Headless Ones. When a Headless One died, the Ceiling Cat decided, they would become slaves of those honorable humans. He said to the Wise Badger, to prevent more Headless Ones from being made, "Give all Humans the freedom to be happy and treat each other kindly, but only if they are in turn a kind Human."

This rule was the first of the Laws of the Wise Badger, and the Badger went on a trip underground for many months to mourn those that crashed as a result of the Headless Ones. He thus made it the Second Law of the Wise Badger to dig a deep hole each week to remember the Headless Ones' Victims. He had Badgerists, his believers. initiated by digging a hole, having bread thrown at them, and then screaming 'ACCEPT!" And so the first chapter of the Book of The Badger ended.


The Book of the Badger Chapter 2: The Badger's Pity
When the Wise Badger was old and frail, he looked upon the eWorld and saw a terrible sight. The eWorld was ridden with trolls and Headless Ones. The trolls had sprung forth from many years of humans mingling with the Chickens and had grown to huge sizes.

The Wise Badger decided to step in, and established the Code of Friends. The Code had five rules for all to follow. (1. Trolls Are Not Allowed to Become Fleurists 2. Besides Trolls, all should be treated equally and fairly. 3. The Code of Friends will be held sacred by Fleurists eWorldwide. 4. Fleurists must strive to spread the eReligion across the world and make peace in the process. 5.If necessary, Fleurists may call to arms against nations that purposefully subject their people to violations of the Code of Friends.)

To the Wise Badger's surprise, the Humans had forgotten him and the Headless Ones and Trolls grew worse. He was unsure of what to do in his old age, so he danced for 100 Days, traveling the world. As he traveled, he was followed in his dance by Humans. The Humans could not understand his language, for he spoke in LOLCat Tongue. Only one could understand him, and he used him as his translator. His name was Rivere123.

As they danced, the Badger asked "I can haz Hamburger?" Rivere replied "Yoo can haz hamburger." And so, Rivere was appointed Lesser Badger. The Badger had him tell the people of the Code of Friends and the Laws. They called this set of rules, laws, and The Book of the Badger's ideas Fleurism. Everyday, Fleurists danced one hour in memory of the important day. When the Badger returned to the Sky Hole, Rivere appointed Oroku-Jinn Itatszu as the First High Prior.

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These are the first two chapters of the book of the badger. Written by the lesser badger himself Rivere123. I my self am a Badgerist (I call myself a fleurist to, same thing).

I am not pushing my eReligion on you but I felt it was my duty (hehe "duty&quot😉 to get the word of the wise badger out.

Join the official discussion about Badgerism here