Oslo to become Russian Capital

Day 2,403, 03:42 • Published in Norway Sweden • by noenting

As the current capital Khabarovsk is in the far east of Asia, the Russian government has decided to move the capital - to Oslo.

In a press conference a government spokesman announced "Russia wants to move closer to its European allies. With the current capital communication is hard at best. We have hence decided to move our capital to Oslo." An employee of the government added "Every time you want to call an European administration they are still asleep and while I am watching TV in the evening my phone rings and rings with nobody to pick it up."


The new Capital

Oslo has become Russian after the government of Norway decided that Bergen was a much more beautiful city. The Russian administration moving to Oslo is seen as an act of defiance towards the United Kingdom and Poland. "Russia now intentionally settles its capital in an area which used to be occupied by the United Kingdom. While the United Kingdom is being invaded while we speak it is primarily a statement towards Poland." explains Åke S. from the Norwegian Institute for Foreign Politics.

Meanwhile Oslo is preparing to become the capital of Russia. The most important places are featured in Latin and Kyrill letters on the road signs and the Storting has been refitted in order to host the Congress of Russia. "We won't remove the Norwegian coat of arms" says a spokesman "but we added the Russian coat of arms next to them, they're our guests".

Souvenir shops in and around Oslo are preparing for their new Russian guests. "We added a lot of articles to our store" explains Trond E., a local salesman "our Oslo guides have always been available in Russian, but now we added a lot of products which especially suit our Russian guests. We now have a huge selection of Russian and Finnish Vodka, we have post cards with images of Holmenkollen, Rådhset and Stortinget reading 'Осло, столица России'." Trond E. walks around his shop and stops in front of a collection of Matryoshkas "We are very proud of those Matryoshkas. We have them in different themes Russian Politicians and Celebrities, Famous Norwegians are just some of them." Scenes like these can be seen in a high number of shops in Oslo.