Off the Campaign Trail: Shenanigans

Day 969, 16:53 • Published in Ireland Ireland • by H.S Thompson

At 11am e-Rep standard I arose to the sound of Dinah Washington's What a Difference a Day Makes, crawled out of bed and brewed the coffee.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmBxVfQTuvI

As I collected the morning paper from the litter-strewn garden (Mad farewell for Caladbolg) the headline rea😛

United Irish Alliance Usurped,
Ronald O'Reagan denies being CPT.Crash

'Yeah, right.' I thought. Not making any unproven accusations of course, simply confirming the affirmation of the newspaper.

CPT.Crash is definitely NOT a multi of Ronald O'Reagan's. Absolutely no way, couldn't be, NOT as in NOT - you know, the negative. Like the opposite of CPT.Crash IS a multi of Ronald O'Reagan's. Which of course, he's not.

Hmm, anyway. So, before I continue, just to recap on last night's shenanigans, I was running against CPT.Crash for the party presidency of United Irish Alliance and as it turned out, I crossed the line with 22 votes versus his 17.

Some say it was his atrocious grammar and apparent disregard for text formatting which lost him the race. Others cite the accusation that CPT.Crash is in fact Ronald O'Reagan, as the main reason. Personally, I think it was his atrocious grammar and disregard for formatting what done it, because as I've said already, CPT.Crash is NOT a multi of Ronald O'Reagan.

Ronald O'Reagan doesn't even have multi's. No way, NOT. No multi's there, otherwise Admin would've found them! Sheesh.



So back to this morning/afternoon. I drank my coffee, showered, threw on my best Hawaiian and called irishbhoy1967 to see if he knew where the United Irish Alliance offices were. El Presidente hadn't a clue (I think he was playing golf and was unamused by my calling him - sorry boss). Anyway, I then called Kolshire - who has most, if not all the answers - and was duly advised of the address.



Upon arrival I was greeted, not with the customary political platitudes expected, but with a scene of the utmost depravity. On the (irc) wall '****en loser' was sprayed like an outgoing epitaph, at least that's what I thought it was until advised by my associate that it was a message for me.

'But I won,' said I, incredulously.
'I know Hunter,' said he, 'but he's probably butt-hurt. What with you usurping power so easily, he's probably right pissed, eh?'
'Butt-hurt is such a terrible affliction,' said I.

The rest of the day was spent installing a dope sound system and clearing out the rubbish around. There were a few items of interest and we thought it best to offer them here for sale:



1 modified Richard Nixon blow-up doll (call for details of modification). Price: Will pay to have removed.
List of workable proxies ordered alphabetically. Price: A world of Pain
1 50-box of unused, ribbed for pleasure John's never been opened. Price: Priceless
A map of the e-world (Some countries blackened) Price: 10IEP
Lots of fire-wood. Price: 0.15IEP per unit

The next few days will be spent drinkin', smokin' and tryin to figure out what to do with this new party here. Be advised, there really IS a dope sound system and you're all welcome to join us in a mammoth celebration - United Irish Alliance is now known as The Guardians of Ireland and if you wanna party everything's free but we'd appreciate a donation to the 'National Organisation: Removal of Rogues' The NO:RoR.