Join the new world

Perhaps I'm the only one that has noticed this, but is it just me or do you lose your ability to jump once you pass age 35? Jumping really is quite a useful skill, allowing you to dodge obstacles and even avoid them entirely. Why don't people jump anymore? Think of the last time you saw your parents jump more than once. Was it in the last year? Decade?

I jump all the time. It's just one of my many moving abilities, I also employ the skip, hop, one legged stand, and sometimes even the somersault if I'm feeling risky. More people should jump, maybe then we wouldn't have people tripping on things all the time, and less people would be breaking their mothers backs when they step on cracks.

The only time kids jump nowadays is when it's being used as a non-physical verb. "I jumped at the chance to play D&D" Or when they're committing suicide, but our resident angsty teenagers have been choosing pills lately, so make of that what you will.