It's Hampton For Congress!!!!!

Day 1,921, 18:16 • Published in USA USA • by Hampton H. Hampton

So I am running for congress for the first time.

As a spokesman for my party I plan to be their voice. I know that my party is greater than me and there I shall be their pawn. I have been chosen by my party because I am a loud voice and I will speak well for them.

I also know that the eUSA is greater than my party, which as aforementioned, is greater than me.

Also I plan to put into action a plan I call "T-Boning" You see as I drive about I have noticed so that a lot of people are either rude or oblivious to traffic laws. You see when I am at a stop light about every fifth time it seems, the person across from me turns left as soon as the light changes to green. Now If I am going straight I have the right away and am supposed to go first. However, these either rude or moronic or both citizens are in too big of a hurry to follow the law. This has lead to several near accidents as I have to slam on the breaks to avoid hitting them, and lost time due to me chasing them just pass them to flip them the bird, also wasted gas. The new law will be that if someone does this you have the right to T-Bone them and they have to buy you a new vehicle of equal or lesser value. Also, traffic cameras will be place at ever since intersection in the country. Also remind me to invest in a traffic camera company.
So, T-Boning and Slaphandling should start to clear out some riff raff from our fine country we call Home.

More plans shall unfold when I am elected to congress and begin my doing of congress stuff. I’ll be voting for things, hiring interns, speaking to school children, being in parades, hiring another intern after the first one quits for unspecified reasons thanks to the gag order she signed upon taking the job, and so on.

Thank you for your support. And remember, you only live once so drink heavily.

Hampton H. Hampton
#929 in the Nation, #1 in our hearts.