Exile's Log, Day 482

Day 482, 21:46 • Published in Japan Japan • by Sophia Forrester

Today has seemed to pass so quickly. I am pleasantly surprised at how much friendly camaraderie there is in eJapan. In the US, by comparison, I was alone in a crowd, yet did not know it.

I have discovered that, while I came here seeking peace, a part of me still longs for war. It's only human to desire challenge, even conflict... and I've given so much training to war that it seems almost wasteful to forget it.

The jingoistic frenzy of my homeland descending on a smaller nation with the fury of a mob... I am thankful to be away from that.

But part of me hopes to participate in war nonetheless, if an honorable war where peace is sought and war used as a defensive measure, or a last resort.

I have been wondering, do humans always carry war in our hearts, wherever we go? The American conception of humans is almost as masters of the Earth. Even the religious would place humans as the highest mortal race. But Japan is different. The word for human, "ningen..." It's hard to explain. When I hear it I hear the irony of being human, the comic tragedy. It is not humility because humility is virtue for virtue's sake, and so more prideful than this. It might be modesty. Or perhaps simple decency.

I'm in a philosophical mood. But the evening grows late. I've written enough for tonight.