eUK National Lottery #1

Day 2,998, 06:36 Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom by Hail Astrid


TL😉R

✔ Endorse the article for 5 cc
✔ You are assigned a number
✔ A random number is chosen from Pornhub
✔ If it's your number, you get to keep all the money.

Please shout in your feeds!

Current pot: 1,040 cc (updated Day 3,000 05:40)


This could be you! What are you waiting for?


if you're allergic to bullshit or lactose intolerant pls stop reading

Yo!

I read Scarfar's epic manifesto and remembered the days when I did legit stuff like trying to launch a popular meme and getting Roachford a television, instead of messing around with the MoHA newspaper and five-minute MS Paint articles, one of which you could technically call a handjob. Anyway, there has been lots of consternation lately that activity is low and newbies aren't being helped out.

After giving it a couple seconds thought, I quickly realized that the best way to solve both problems is by getting everybody addicted to online gambling.

Of course, Plato has already tried to do this with his Power Spins, but the eUK National Lottery has a clear advantage over him, in that we have Steve Harvey page dividers.


I didn't even want to break the article there but I did it, because of the Steve Harvey banner.


Holy shit there it is again.


Remember when I said that I would no longer rely on five-minute MS Paint jobs in my articles?



That Steve Harvey banner took me six minutes.



You'd be surprised that his right arm isn't actually that long. I just extended it.


Anyway, I think it would be good. I actually wanted to suggest the Ministry of Finance do it, since I'm pretty sure about 69% of you guys think I'm just gonna bolt with all the money. So to alleviate this concern, I will match all the endorsements. So if there was 50cc worth of endorsements, I'll dump in 50cc into the pot too. And since it's the first time and I'm guessing only like three guys would take part, I'm just gonna put in 500cc to begin with. How am I so rich, you ask? Well, just... just don't ask.

So anyway, this will benefit n00bs as winning the lottery would be like a care package on behalf of the eUK, so they can buy food/weps/bribes for elections etc. And they can easily afford to take part since it's only 5 cc. And studies show that young children and adolescents are more susceptible to addictions than adults, so we can get them to stay in eRepublik and ruin their lives at the same time! Two birds with one stone etc etc

Also since it's only 5 cc each donation, you need a lot of people to make the pot increase substantially. So get your parties involved! Shout it in the feeds! It'd get your party feed to more active for sure. At least by one post.

Full disclosure guys in RL I actually won the recent Powerball lottery held in the United States so I can attest to the life-changing nature of getting free money. I was able to quit my job shining turtle shells at the zoo and devote my full attention to my side hobby of catching child pornographers online by asking everyone I meet whether they have child pornography and capturing the hard evidence of their crimes using the proven tactic of "pics or gtfo", as veterans in this industry like to term it. It's a tough job but someone's got to do it. I have built up a large backlog of evidence which I will have to carefully review before turning it into the police at some point in the future. One of my tip-offs lead to the mohawk guy from Glee getting arrested so I'm proud of that because I didn't really like Glee anyway and did you know that Santana and the blond girl are lesbians zomg or was that like five seasons ago i dunno

I can't say that winning a virtual lottery will be the same but it will probably be somewhat similar.

also am not sure when i'll pick the number but it'll probs be like 3 dayz or something

for real tho fuk child pornographers that's some bullshit

like read this fam