[Trekker] 10 reasons to show up for the Presidential eWedding

Day 2,747, 16:51 • Published in USA USA • by Trekker Tlumac

There is an eWedding tomorrow and you are invited! To make this simple, I have compiled a list of reasons why you should attend. Reasons to be at the wedding:



Because I am the PotUS, and dictator of your heart.
Let’s face it, you love me. By divine right I am the dictator of your heart. And your dictator wants to cram you into a crowded room at the end of May to watch a Presidential Wedding. What could possibly be better than that?

To see how beautiful BeachBunny’s dress is
It is no secret that wedding dresses are all the rage in fashion. It is also no secret that the higher the profile of the wedding the more people pay attention to the brides dress. Don’t be that guy. You know, that one guy on the block who skips the wedding and has no idea what the dress looks like.

To watch chance flip his lid when there is no cheesecake
It has been brought to my attention that our friend Chance will attend the wedding only if there is cheesecake. I have made it my mission to assure him there is cheesecake. Be there to watch him start flipping tables when I mysteriously “lose” the cheesecake.

To get in your one last chance to give either of us an inappropriate grope
Let’s face. BeachBunny and I, we are sexy people. Neither of us are strangers to flirts. However, as she is handy with a gun and I am a Dictator, the flirting and groping is about to get a lot more dangerous for anyone wishing to do so. Come before the wedding to get your Last Yehaw in. Or try to. Bahahahaha.

To see who shows up and what gossip can be found
This invitation has circulated around the eWorld. There will be domestic and international celebrities in the mix. Show up and see who shows up, who doesn’t, and who throws sand at us.

Because it is both silly and ridiculous, but life needs more of both.
I have read that eMarriage is silly and ridiculous. And this is absolutely true. But if you ask me, this world needs a little more silly and ridiculous in it. Sometimes a thing does not need to be logical or practical to be beautiful. Such is the point of things like eWeddings. To be a part of something that is both silly and sweet and fun for the sake of nothing more than being happy. Our eWedding will be just that.


To watch the exchange of vows.
BeachBunny and I have both elected to write our own vows. Vows we will not be sharing with each other prior to the service. Come and see what we say to each other. We can all be surprised together.

To hook up with the eye candy
Weddings are a great place to hook up. I think everyone who has ever gone to a wedding knows this. Doesn’t the idea of a eLifelong commitment to another person just make you all randy? Or is that just me? It is? Really? Meh… Show up, maybe you will meet someone.

Sharknado: ‘Nuff Said.
I think that one is pretty self-explanatory.

To join us on our day of happiness.
This reason, above all others, is the reason to show up. As we embark on eMarriage together, we invite you to be there as observers, friends, family.


Here is the link to the invite again:
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/wedding--2526939/1/20


See you tomorrow!

-Trekker