Gon' talk smack
Flash my gat
I'm gonna spit and hold my dick
And heat shit up like a thermostat
Grab your partner by the chaps
Give your partner a pimp-slap
To symbolize the ghetto trap
Step to the right
Give three claps
The Best In Me
I suck. I'll be the first and last to say it. I'm just a guy. But I am a better guy for having people in my life who I trust, and who I count as friends. We have always said that the best part of this game is the community: the people you stay up to 5 am on IRC with, the ones who screw around on the forum with, the folk you met decided to meet up with in real life or play another game with as well. Our community is the most important foundation we have. It is what draws people in and keeps them wanting to play.
It is for this reason that I have picked out my cabinet, not necessarily based on experience, but trust. The people you will see me mention in this article are my friends, and I love them for many different reasons. They're the ones who make me better, and the ones who will be making this next month a blast for all of us. They have potential and strength, and it's time to bring that out in all of us.
I will only be announcing the primary secretaries and heads of departments in this article. There will be very little talk of the programs I plan to initiate. This is just to wet your palate; give you all a taste.
Media has always been one of my passions in this game, and so I tend to be snobbish when it comes to really selecting great writers. I still remember Sam and what he did for this country. My first cabinet position was not a deputy position or anything like that. It was Secretary of Media, straight off the bat. I had to learn in the heat of the fire how to do the job, and you can ask Colin Lantrip if he thinks I succeeded. I've thought long and hard about who I want running the WHPR, and out of all the coal and schlock that pollutes our ruined media module these days, there has been a rising star among it.
I am pleased to announce that my Secretary of the Media will be Kelly J. Brown.
Kelly and I became fast friends one night over IRC. We both maintain an interest in poetry writing, and she agreed to be my SoM on one condition: that I write a Presidential Poem while in office. The deal has been struck, and your media will be in good hands. Kelly will be putting out the WHPR at least twice a week, and will be one of my main advisers and confidants on my own articles.
But communication is not just solely about media. I knew I needed a person who also knows the science of fun, an expert in the classics of trolling. Someone I can count on to run events and games, rabble-rouse the citizenry, and generally be disorderly in the best of ways.
I'm letting the beast off the chain, Emericka, because I have picked as my Minister of Fun none other than Valiant Thor.
Domestic issues will be my primary focus this month. We have a chance to get our house in order, and that will be the focus of my next article. But for right now, I want to give you a peak at the three people who will be putting the pieces in place.
In addition to bringing back the position of Minster of Fun, I will also be returning the position of Secretary of Technology back to it's former glory. With the amount of docs and forms I'll have flying about, it will be the SoT's job to make it all look spiffy and work. The person I've brought on for this task is an experienced programmer and knowledgeable in the ways of computational technologies.
My Secretary of Technology will be blondeninja.
We need new players, but when they come we need them to be well trained. For the job of bringing our new players up to speed, we will need a nationalized education endeavor. Tutorials and training will be the fare of the day for our new folk. An old friend of mine came to me and asked how he could help. With his experience in sixth party politics and his already great work in education, there's no one I would want more for the job.
Introducing my pick for Secretary of Education, Alexandrer Coin
Interior will be getting a lot of micromanaging from me and the crew I've picked, and so for my SoI, I needed someone with experience. He's a long time friend, and perhaps one of the most experienced picks I have for the month.
You know him best as our current Secretary of the Interior, Arrden.
We live in a time where the mechanics are known in the game. In many ways, we've beaten it. We know what strategies work and which ones don't. We're at an age where certain things don't need tinkering with. For the Treasury, for instance, we just need someone who is smarter than me with money. That person isn't hard to find, seeing as they're already doing the job.
Secretary of the Treasury shall remain the wonderful Miss of Money, Evry
Additionally, I will be maintaining a firm hand in our continued ATO efforts. Just because we won this victory does not mean we get to slack off. Draconian policies are needed, as is experience.
And there is no better man for that the job of Department of Homeland Security thanDr Luis Sentieiro.
Now, I'm going to take this time to talk about possibly one of the most important people I have on my cabinet. He and I have already had long conversations that are changing my approaches to policy. And I need that. I need friends, of course, but I need people willing to challenge me, willing to make me think. My NSC Chairman will be one of the most important people I put trust in this month.
And there is no one I would want questioning me and working with our MUs as National Security Council Chairman more than Gnilraps.
Interior and Military will be busy this month. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: just because we are in a time of peace does not mean we give up preparing for war. Three months will fly by faster than many of us will know. This first month will be the most important to get things set up correctly.
I know I said I was not going to discuss policy in this article too much, but with our foreign affairs, it's important to make my stance known. We will be strengthening both our military, as I've stated, and our friendships with other countries.
Plainly put, historically we have been a poor ally. And that must change. I have faith that those I have placed in the State Department and the Department of Defense will do their jobs to the best of their abilities. My Secretary of Defense is new, but her experience in the military and with military decisions is something I trust. This month is going to be about finding the experience we have and passing on that knowledge of the elders to those who have the potential to do great things.
And my Secretary of Defense, saraht0ga, will do great things.
The Department of Ambassadorial Affairs is already full of deputies willing and able to work, but I wanna talk about the guy who will be holding the whip. Another sixth party politician; he is someone who I trust to keep our embassies full and in line..
The award for the lowest resolution avatar and my pick for Director of Ambassadorial Affairs will be Thomas Killah.
Sugar and spice, and everything nice. We've gotta be friendlier to our allies. For my State department, I need a person intimately involved with CoT. Someone on the rise and well connected. And someone also who I can turn to in matters of its inner goings-on. She welcomed me to the game when I was still pretending I was new. She has been a consistent confidant and supporter.
And so, my Secretary of State will be Mazzy Cat
There's a lot going on in my cabinet already. Anyone who has read this far knows that. And so the most important choices I needed to make were for my Chief of Staff and my Vice President.
Chief of Staff is a tough gig, and it's why I've also selected two wonderful people as Deputy CoS to help out. One is a person I am particularly proud of in this game. He's risen up time and again every single time there has been a thankless job to do, and it's time he get some recognition for that organizational ability. My other very important Deputy is someone who is fun loving, spirited, and youthful. There need to be more bright eyes out there in the game, and I'm sure she'll be a good reminder to me and my staff that we are all in this thing to have a joyous time together.
They're new to the job, but my not to my heart. My choices for Deputy Chief of Staff are Malarkey83 and EnterAwesome.
A long time ago, when I first started playing the game, I made a list of cabinet members I wanted. It was the ideal cabinet for me and what I wanted, and I adjusted it monthly. Years passed and people left, and now only two names remain. My Chief of Staff was always a clear choice, even back then. She is someone who has been there, time and again for me, in many ways on many days. She's strong, and in her own right deserves to be President one day. A strong leader, and a fearless individual, she is the one I always wanted.
Emericka, it is my extreme pleasure to announce that my Chief of Staff is none other than the nation's sweetheart, Melissa Rose.
Many make their choice of Vice President political. They use it to get votes from parties they don't think will vote for them, and then have their VP just sort of sit around. My Vice President is the other name I always wanted, and whereas many of you have heard of Melissa Rose, I would bet that most people have never heard of my Vice President, and if you have heard of him, then you know why I've picked him.
Since my early days in the United Independents Party, this man has always proven to me that he is smarter. It's not his fault; he just is. In my long time of playing, I have gone to him on every important decision I needed consultation for. He has been the impetus behind every good decision I have made, and the voice of consciousness speaking "I told you so" when I have failed to yield to his wisdom. In many ways, when I speak he is the true voice you are hearing. A devious mind, well-versed in all arenas of gameplay, he could be considered the Varys to my Tyrion Lannister. Where I am brash and impulsive, sometimes crude and rude, he is cautious and patient, as well as thoughtful and objective.
He will be the main mind and the first consultant on all of my actions. If I leave office for whatever RL emergency crops up (Dio forbid), he will hold the keys and guide the ship. He is one of my best friends, both in this game, and in real life. And there is no person I would rather take on this journey with me than him.
Ladies and Gentleman, my Vice President... is RaccoonGoon.
The staff I have picked for this month will be Emericka's First Family. If we are to be a good ally to other countries, we must first be an ally to ourselves. These are the people who will be working hard to bring about a strong new game for us to revel in. They are the people I trust implicitly to help me run this country.
And I hope that when the 5th comes, you will trust them as I do.
FIRST FOR FAMILY
Nemo nisi per amicitiam cognoscitur.
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