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Due giant solar flares of fail, yesterday's article could not be read by most players, so here is a re-broadcast...



Index:
1.) Chinese-American Friendship
2.) Portuguese-American Friendship
3.) How to Be a Media Whore Whiz
4.) Using the USA Forum for Fun and Profit
5.) Links to Live By



Imagine my panic when I arrived at the West Wing bright and early this morning only to find gooey strands of what looked like Velveeta streaming down the hallways, a virtual mountain of empty wine coolers everywhere like an explosion had gone off in the cheap section of cheesy package store, and crazy posters of unicorns and rainbow ponies plastered everywhere. And... well, I can't tell you everything because of national security concerns, but let me simply affirm that a certain Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs isn't quite as captivating as usual when covered with spew and smelling like something the cat drug in.

Anyway. Most of the mess got cleaned up before President Glove arrived, but there's still a funny smell in some areas. You'll want to watch your step if you're visiting the White House today.





Chinese-American Friendship; or Kicking Indonesia's Butt From Sea to Shining Sea:



In case you've been sleeping off the effects of the green flu, I am here to inform you that some Indonesian miscreants recently invaded the Golden State, trying to steal the early harvest of one of our greatest national treasures. But there's more, buds. The wrong flag is still flying over beautiful Mokuʻāina o Hawaiʻi. This is a travesty and an affront to all that is good and decent and awesome. These thieves with their silly inverted-Polish banner are still ensconced in Maui. This cannot stand. This will not stand. And we musn't stand for it.

So get up, stand up and go liberate Hawaii, dawg!

We are happy to report that, as part of the worldwide movement against the Indonesian menace, our brave allies in the heroic Chinese Peoples Liberation Army have taken the battle directly to the lion's den, opening an assault on Indonesia's natural region of Kalimantan.

Remember, Hawaii is the doorway to Java! And Kalimantan is, well, it's somewhere near Java. And Java is what you need to get a decent IT job these days. So, if you have any hope of someday working elsewhere than the deep-fat-fryer station at Jack-in-the-Box, you need to check in with the daily DoD orders and then go kick some Indo butt!




Portuguese-American Friendship; or How You Can Be a Resistance Hero:



Hangry for some hot resistance action?

Get armed. Get fit. And get ready, America.

Read those DoD orders carefully, my droogs. The eUSA is fighting to return Portuguese regions to Portugal as part of a diplomatic agreement. You want to fight for the Portuguese Resistance.

But that's not all. You can help the eUSA build up its Indo War chest by taking part in an auction for the honor of being a Resistance Hero in the Portuguese wars. Send an in-game message to Presidential Advisor Alexander Hamilton for details about this offer.





Media Magic:

Did you know there's a whole section of the USA Forums devoted to helping you write good articles in the media? Well. D'oh! Who knew? There is.

The Department of Education's Media and Journalism section has advice on using BB Code, how to get your newspaper started, and helpful hints and tips on getting underway with your marvelous writing career.





Using the USA Forum for Fun and Profit:

I imagine many of you are a bit like me when it comes to the eUSA Forums. You browsed around, read through a few threads, and then were startled to find you thought you were having a flashback to Mrs. Humboldt's 6th-grade geometry class, where nobody paid any attention to anything except throwing spitwads and and beating up on the new kids.

So undignified. So not a place where a somewhat cantankerous and pontificious windbag like myself can wax poetic about the intricate implications of Bogdanovian materialism within an ersatz Baudrillardist construct. Know what I mean?

Of cousrse you do. And you shied away from it. Maybe you found solace in a smaller, more welcoming setting where rational robots rule the day, like say, in the Technocratic Party forum or in Zhao Ji's corner of the IRC.

Well, I am not too big-headed to admit that I may have been wrong. As is so often the case when I'm heading down the path of dismay and derision, it was my friend rainy sunday who pointed out to me that there all sorts of great resources to be found on the eUSA Forum. Yesterday I noted the acronym index. There are other gems as well:

* New Employee Template, for help getting your company running smoothly
* Government Department Descriptions, a stepping stone to getting more involved in running the country and benefitting from what it has to offer
* A Guide to Surviving your First Days in eRepublik
* For the aspiring diplomat, a List of International IRC Channels and Forums





If you are subscribed to the WH Press Room (WHPR) and to the following papers, then congratulations because you're doing it right.



- Department of Defense Orders, from the Department of Citizen Orders


- Easyrider, from the Pony Express


- The Vanguard World, President Glove's paper




xio, PQ