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Potpourri

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"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."

--George E. Woodberry



Jokes

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Aunt Karen is the mother of two high-spirited young girls. When I called her one morning, our conversation was constantly interrupted by the din of kids screaming and chasing each other. "Could you hold on for a moment?" my aunt finally asked, putting down the phone.

Within 20 seconds all I could hear was absolute silence.

Then, "Okay, I'm back."

"But it's so quiet!" I exclaimed. "You must have complete control over those two."

"Not really," my aunt confessed wearily. "I'm outside in the garage."

-o-o-o-o-

A three-year-old in the congregation regularly watched football games with his father. So much so, that he knew some of the signals the referee makes. On a recent Sunday, as the pastor raised his hands high to offer a blessing, the child interrupted the service by shouting, "Touchdown!"

-o-o-o-o-

Back in the 1930s, William Lyon Phelps of Yale found the following sentence gleaming out of the pages of a freshman essay: "The girl tumbled down the stairs and lay prostitute at the bottom."

In the margin of the paper, Professor Phelps, commente😛 "My dear sir, you must learn to distinguish between a fallen woman, and one who has merely slipped.

-o-o-o-o-

At any time, the urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is just a whim away. A whim away...a whim away...a whim away...a whim away....