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Potpourri

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"The majority of husbands remind me of an Orangutan trying to play the violin."

-- Honore de Balzac



Jokes

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A woman was playing golf when she took a big swing and fell. The party
waiting behind her was a group from Washington, DC that included President Barack Obama.

Barack quickly stepped forward and helped her to her feet. She thanked him and started to leave, when he said, "I'm Barack Obama and I hope you'll vote Democratic in the next election."

She laughed and quickly said, "I fell on my ass, not my head."

-o-o-o-o-

At my granddaughter's wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest. It turned out to be my husband and I. The DJ asked us, "What advice would you give to the newly-married couple?"

I answered, "The three most important words in a marriage are, 'You're probably right.'" Everyone then looked at my husband.

He said, "She's probably right."

-o-o-o-o-

A professor was one day walking along a very narrow street when he came face to face with a rival.

The street was too narrow for two to pass.

The rival, pulling himself up to his full height, said haughtily "I never make way for fools!"

Smiling, the professor stepped aside and said, "I always do."

-o-o-o-o-

I don't care who you are, Mr. Vader. Around here we take OFF our hats when we're inside.