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Potpourri

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"A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled."

--Barnett Cocks


Jokes

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Fresh out of high school, I found a job cleaning the elegant home of an older couple. Among other duties, I had to dust their many imported carvings and petrified collectibles as well as pick up after their pets.

One day I was astonished to find two ivory fossils lying on the floor beside the bookcase. I quickly picked them up and put them back on the shelf. The next week the same thing happened.

That afternoon my employer came into the parlor, her faithful canine behind her. Looking around, she eyed the bookcase.

"Tippy," she asked the dog, "how do your bones keep getting up there?"

-o-o-o-o-

Boy: [calls 911] "Hello? I need your help!"

911: "All right, What is it?"

Boy: "Two girls are fighting over me!"

911: "So what's your emergency?"

Boy: "The ugly one is winning."

-o-o-o-o-

To surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office.
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.

Without hesitating, he dictated, "And in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."

-o-o-o-o-

Laughter is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.