THE X-FILES / ISSUE 06

Day 3,166, 17:24 • Published in USA USA • by Hadrian X
 
SECTIONS
I. INTERVIEW/ILLUSIONARY AVENGER – Interview with PotUS Yui MHCP001
II.  FEATURE/THE POWER LIST – Part 3: #6-10
III.  THIRD BASE (aka THE HOT CORNER) – Three words…. Sexy. Boba. Fett. Check it.  That was five words.  Whatever.
IV.  EDITOR’S NOTES
 



I. ILLUSIONARY AVENGER
By Hadrian X
 
Two term PotUS Yui MHCP001 graciously tells us how to win a resource war.  Take notes.
 
Hadrian X:  First, congratulations on your reelection.  How’s this term going for you Yui?  What have you accomplished so far in your second term in office?  Do you plan to run for a third term?'

Yui MHCP001:  Term's fine, I suppose. It's going into its 3rd trimester, and the development seems to be healthy, at least according to the doctors. 

We've gotten Latvia some of its regions back, and we've also helped get FYROM and Bulgaria almost entirely out of South America, which is nice. I don't know about a 3rd term

HX:  What is your favorite song to sing at Karaoke and when is the last time you sang it?  Was any twerking involved?

Yui:  I don't normally do Karaoke, but when I do it's on Second Life. I've been singing it out to Hamilton, which I'm totally obsessed with. And lets be real, who DOESNT twerk to Hamilton?

HX:  What do you say to critics of your first term who said you did not put in the effort you could and should have?

Yui:  I hope you somehow survive a huge car crash yet somehow die in a small fender bender. 😃 (totally joking)

HX:  If you and Tenshibo both went to EDC, who do you think would have more fun and why?

Yui:  Probably Tenshibo, since he knows how to get lit, while I'd just be sitting there wondering wtf to do. Although knowing Tenshibo he'd get me lit real good, especially with Cocaine, the safest drug out there. 😃

HX:  I was dead at the time, so I have no Earthly idea if it’s true or not, but I heard you won all kinds of shit and basically tore the world a new a-hole in something called the “Resource Wars”.  What is that and how and why did you kick so much ass?

Yui:  It was my personal hell. I managed most of our resources we went for, and we were more successful than not in them. I put in countless hours into it, and basically killed everything else in my life to do it.  🙂

HX:  What is your least favorite type of medieval plague or disease and why?

Yui:  Black Plague. Everyone knows White Plague is so much better. 

HX:  As one who has never, and likely never will be POTUS, let me live vicariously through you.  What does being POTUS entail?  What do you do as POTUS?  What are all the fun things you get to do?  What are a few of the cool, sekrit things that outsiders don’t really know about?

Yui:  When you're PotUS, you must kill any emotions you have, and be a cruel yet fair ruler. Tell your critics to fuck off, while taking all the credit for what your cabinet does. You also are the secret shadow president of all of our ally nations, which is nice. 

HX:  Who is in your crew? – officially dubbed the “Yui Crewi”  Who is the funniest member of said crew?  Who is the ugliest (avatar wise)?

Yui:  I don't really have a crew anymore. It was Tenshibo and Derphoof, but as many know that fell through. No hard feelings to Tenshibo though, if he's chill I'm chill. Tenshibo's really hilarious though, and idk what Derphoof's character is from, so it's ugly af.

HX:  So according to your VP Resoula, Russia is kinda being a dick.  What’s that about and what are you going to do about it (i.e. them not being cool allies ‘n stuff)?

Yui:  No comment.

HX:  What will you be doing 10 minutes after you’re done with this interview?

Yui:  I'm in Champion Select for Ranked League of Legends. Recently got to Platinum, which means I'm in the Top 9% of League players now, wooo!



HX:  Since this interview is part of our series on eUS power players, of which you have been selected, I wanted to ask what is power?  And, in your opinion, who in the eUS has it?

Yui:  Power is the % chance of when you tell someone to do something, that they'll do it. Clearly Inwegen has the most power at 200%.
 
HX:  You were recently re-elected to your second term as President of the United States.  Congratulations by the way.  But enough of that.  More importantly, you are singularly responsible for the title of this particular "news" publication -- The X-Files.  Can you explain the rush of pride and pure joy you feel upon seeing the title you suggested, emblazoned on the cover of this prestigious periodical?

Yui:  You literally owe all your success to me. 

Thanks for all my success Yui!

II. THE HOT LIST – Part 3:  #6-10
Who are the most powerful and influential citizens in the eUS?  We took a completely unscientific poll to find out.
 
To see the methodology and players ranked #16-20, click HERE.  Players #11-15 are HERE.

To see the full POWER LIST, click HERE.
 
For Rankings #6-10 of THE X-FILES 1ST POWER LIST, read on:
 
#10 Israel Stevens


What is your current title and what do you do?
 
Israel Stevens:  I am a nobody, and I do nothing. (Although I was President a few months ago)
 
What other positions have you held and what would you consider your proudest accomplishments?
 
Israel:  Ugh. I've done like everything. I've been here too long. My favorite was always being Chief of Staff to various Presidents. Along with that, my proudest accomplishment is my work with AMP, despite where the party stands now.
 
If you could do any one thing to make the eUSA better, what would it be and why?
 
Israel:  Bring back more people. Self-explanatory.
 
What others say about Israel Stevens:
 
“While far less active than he has previously been, IS is still one of the biggest movers behind the scenes.”
 
“Israel Stevens is still Israel Stevens even when he doesn't pay attention.”
 
“People seem to care about what he has to say.”
 
“When he chooses to be active, he has a profound effect on things; his most recent CP term proved this.”
 

#9 Resoula


What is your current title and what do you do?
 
Resoula:  On a national level I am the current Vice President and Co-Secretary of State of eUSA. On the party level I am the Party President and media director of The Black Sheep Party.I do whatever the hell I want, whenever the hell I want. That's the exact job description I got Yui to give me.
 
What other positions have you held and what would you consider your proudest accomplishments?
 
Resoula:  Check my profile page for my positions held, there's too much to list here. My proudest accomplishments would be...

1. When I worked closely with TDK in a successful repulsion of the triple invasion from Bulgaria, FYROM, and Chile.
2. The end result of the Resource Wars, in which I had played the role of manging battles, COs, and the insane amount of TWs we had.
3. Every PP term I serve. The Black Sheep are my closest friends in this game and every term they elect me to PP is one of the greatest things this game can provide me.
4. Making a mini-eRep meme out of a gastrointestinal disease. (Salmonella)
 
If you could do any one thing to make the eUSA better, what would it be and why?
 
Resoula:  I'd stop the in-fighting. I'd get us all to just get along. So that the next time we face a threat I don't have to listen to bickering about tax rates and can see a united people ready to give the war everything they've got. eMericans just can't get along for the most part, and it sucks. It's a stake driven through the center of our community and its one we need to get rid of.

I'd also get rid of that damn salmonella.  (Editor's correction: Strikethrough)
 
What others say about Resoula:
 
“[He] keeps showing up everywhere and never f*cks up.”
 
“There can be no denying he's the biggest name to come out of the Black Sheep Party.”
 
“Perpetual NSC chair. Would rank higher but his Party and he are very isolationist.”
 
“Another potential future CP.”


#8 Tyler Bubblar


What is your current title and what do you do?
 
Tyler Bubblar:  I may currently hold the Director of Lazy Douches post in the Federalist Party I am not certain. I would not call myself retired, but I am not actively involved in anything of substance other than Co-host of eNPR at present.
 
What other positions have you held and what would you consider your proudest accomplishments?
 
Tyler:  I have been President of the eUSA 4 times now, Federalist Party President 6 times, Speaker 3 times, SoS once (Deputy a dew times), CoS twice, VP 4 times, NSC Co-director twice, Secretary of Homeland Security 6 times, CO of the now mostly defunct SHIELD MU, and  SecMed/Secretary of DoCA once each. There are other Party posts I have held within the Federalist Party. My proudest accomplishment is a tie between helping to finally break and keep down the Ajay Bruno led PTO, and helping the Federalist Party weather a massive loss in leadership. I had a lot of help in both and by no means do I claim sole credit for either but it was an honor to be a part of.
 
If you could do any one thing to make the eUSA better, what would it be and why?
 
Tyler:  I enjoy helping new players get involved while also trying to help them avoid potential setbacks and pitfalls. Thin as the community has become we need all the fresh talent there is. This is something that I have actively worked on for years in various ways. The national scene reminds me a bit of something Captain Barbossa sai😛


 
What others say about Tyler Bubblar:
 
“TB's influence in the last year can still be felt. He was the one who worked to be more inclusive with cabinets, and his roster from last year is basically a who's who of who then went on to become CP.”
 
“Major Fed player. Keeps to the shadows, despite being PotUS last month. The Feds sort of have a dueling factions thing going on. He's one of them.”
 
“Been around for a while, definitely well-liked by most.”
 
“Great person, controls the Feds.”

 
#7 Yui MHCP001


What is your current title and what do you do?
 
Yui MHCP001:  Motha f*ckin presiiiident!!! My job is to make sure our country doesn't go crashing down, and to lead it where it benefits us the most.
 
What other positions have you held and what would you consider your proudest accomplishments?
 
Yui:  NSC Director under Aramec, Gnilraps, Israel Stevens, MelissaRose, and Tyler Bubblar
Vice President under Gnilraps’ Second December
Dictatress of Pakistan, for whatever reason.
Interim Secretary of Defense
Deputy DoD once or twice.
Deputy MoFA two or three times
AMP PP
AMP Vice PP
Runner of multiple DoCA programs for 2-4 months

My most proud accomplishment is obviously leading our country through Resource Wars 2016.
 
If you could do any one thing to make the eUSA better, what would it be and why?
 
Yui:  I wish we had a more tight knit community. I don't mean being all nice to each other, but at the very least not hating each other and having everyone equally participate where possible.
 
What others say about Yui:
.
“His performance in NSC and rise through the ranks there has been nothing short of astounding and he is the reason we came out of Resource Wars as well as we did.  That in and of itself earned him his CP medal.”
 
“He successfully helped us recently win 19/20 new resources, and is generally well liked.”
 
“Hero of the recent resource wars.  Would be higher but his [last] term [as CP] has dimmed his star a bit.”
 
“Yui has, in many ways, embodied one of the last people who has been able to ascend to CP almost completely on his own merit, and without people pushing him there or any of the politicking that these things usually entail.”
 
 
#6 Oblige


What is your current title and what do you do?
 
Oblige:  Whale & Congressperson / SCI & Presidential Advisor, Represent the -1%
 
What other positions have you held and what would you consider your proudest accomplishments?
 
Oblige:
★ Seven Term as President of these eUnited States
★ Most Presidential American Ever
★ Four term Secretary of State
★ One term Secretary of Defense
★ Four term Secretary General of TERRA
★ Retired Commanding Officer of the Special Forces
★ Fourty two term Congressman
★ Select Committee on Intelligence Member
★ Two term Deputy Speaker of the House
★ Economics Council Member
★ National Security Council Member
★ eNPR / Forum Benefactor
★ Recipient of Congressional W.H.A.L.E. Award
★ WTP Party Founder
★ Two point five term WTP Party President
★ LAP Party Founder
★ One term LAP Party President
★ 3 Term vCP of Germany
★ 3 Term MoFA of China
★ 1 Term MoFA of Brazil

Nothing in this game makes me proud.
 
If you could do any one thing to make the eUSA better, what would it be and why?

Oblige:  wrest my party back from rainy sunday, but I'm feeling pretty indifferent about it ATM
 
What others say about Oblige:
 
“He controls WTP. No one else in that party matters.”
 
“I'm loathe to add him, but he's generally successful, if not a polarizing figure in the community.”
 
“He has a stranglehold on WTP at this point, though that's been diminished more recently. And while he hasn't served any real function in a cabinet for a while, his inclusion is still always a necessary one, whether you want him or not.”
 

 
III. THE HOT CORNER
 
In honor of the 2016 San Diego Comic Con beginning today, here is Boba Fett.  The hot version.  You're welcome.
 

 
IV. EDITOR’S NOTES
 

 
The WINNER of last issue's COLIN LANTRIP MEMORIAL AWARD OF COMMENTING EXCELLENCE and $1,000 USD/cc is EARNED A BATTLE HERO MEDAL with a record 133 votes (at the time of publication)!
 

 
Even thought votes were totally purchased, it was a funny experiment that I thought was very cool.  I'm sure it cost a lot more money than it'll win, but eImmortality now belongs to EARNED A BATTLE HERO on the wall of Lantrip Award winners.

AND - Since that was an awesome, but highly unusual circumstance, I am also declaring GNILRAPS and his comment the runner-up.  I'm not giving him any money though, because honestly he doesn't need it.  The guy is like eBill Gates, but not nerdy and anti-social.  Instead, because of the great support shown by EZC, I will be donating $1,000 USD/cc to EZC.  I have no idea how to donate to an MU, so I'm just sending it to Deepchill and letting him deal with it.



Good job GNIL!  CURRAHEE!! 

Do YOU want to WIN the Lantrip Award and $1,000/cc!  Of course you do!  WRITE A COMMENT and if it gets the MOST LIKES, you WIN!
 
See the illustrious previous Lantrip Award Winners HERE.

Votes, as always, are greatly appreciated.  Thanks for reading!
 

 
Vote it up for Margot.  You know you wanna… 😉
 

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