Talostastic4WorstPotUS - Winning

Day 2,139, 15:02 • Published in USA USA • by Talostastic

At 10:52 eRepublik time on the 26th of September, 2013, I announced my candidacy for the highest office in the eUSA, the PotUS seat. This is a very big step up for me. This was a huge flip-flop from me, as you could learn from clicking that link and hearing a clip from my first appearance on eNPR.

The fact that I can flip-flop so easily is arguably what makes me a great PotUS. Some of the worst PotUS candidates we've ever had have been steadfast in their opinions and ideas. We just don't like that in eAmerica.

I'm not saying I'm talking about this guy... but I'm talking about this guy.



Now, we all know my only serious competition recently released an article where he doesn't mention me at all. This is an absolute outrage. But doing stuff about something that outrages me is a waste of time, because we live in The Matrix.



MORE CAMPAIGN PROMISES!

1 ) I will pay the eRepublik Team money to make sure that anyone who votes for me will never again get a forfeit point for vulgarity. Duck yeah!

2 ) Hale26 has volunteered that, if I am elected, he will be everyone's free sex slave. Because Gecko sex.

3 ) I cannot stress this enough. 0% tax rate, and whatever it takes to get it done.

4 ) Change the eUSA National Anthem to Ice Ice Baby.

5 ) th of Jim Bean.

6 ) Somethingsomething... hey look, more cabinet members!



Actually... nevermind. I'll do more later. I'm not in nearly the state I was in for the original article, so I won't waste any more of your time reading this one. Except, you know, I just bought votes for this one, so you're gonna see it anyways.

Oh, that leads me to campaign promise number 7.



7 ) Ban Voters-Club.

8 ) Ban Sub4Sub too.



I lied. Here are some new Cabinet Members!
As you can see below in the comments, Sarah is an excellent reader who fully read this article before commenting. This totally isn't an article edit to make her look silly, I just properly predicted the future. BOOM!

As you can see from his About Me, Paul is smarter than the average bear. So, I shall put him in charge of tricking them, and hope eventually another smarter-than-average bear comes along and eats him.

FlorenciaC has the mechanical "eRepublik Ambassador" badge, so you know she's important. But since I have no idea where Argentina is, beyond that name being mentioned every half a breath in the last season of Dexter, she's clearly from a fictitious, made-up land of craziness.



In conclusion... vote for me on October 5th, so I have a reason to use this terribly photoshopped image;


If you have any questions or want to join my Cabinet, feel free to text me directly,
(920) 445-8712
Or, you can join my Campaign Channel
PM me directly if you want the campaign channel's actual name.