Running for President

Day 3,114, 18:01 • Published in Israel Italy • by Milo McInnes

Thank you for the opportunity to speak to you, it is truly a great honor. I’d like to talk today about how to develop a new foreign policy direction for our country, one that replaces randomness with purpose, ideology with strategy, and chaos with peace.

It’s time to shake the rust off Israel’s foreign policy. It’s time to invite new voices and new visions into the fold, something we have to do. The direction I will outline today will also return us to a timeless principle. My foreign policy will always put the interests of the Israeli people and Israeli security above all else.

It seems that nations around the globe treat us like territory for grab, as resources that are free-for-all. They do not see us as a nation, because we do not act as a nation. We barely have any activity or organization. The few people that remain in the country have given up on this failed simulator. Our rivals no longer respect us or even view us as a country in any sort of way.

My proposal is to make peace with Italy. The Italian government has agreed to return all the regions in exchange for an ambassador to our country. I think this solution is a long-term solution of shared interests. With Egypt, they have agreed to pay for the damage done and to concede the Sinai region to Israel for a full three-month term. The negotiations with the gold value of reparations is still underway, but it is upwards of 500 gold for the damage caused by their aggression.

Serbia has been a brother to us, and we have been a brother to them. Let’s expand this friendship into unprecedented territory. Let’s become brothers in arms and help expand Serbian interests abroad. We have shared history and fate in the hands of foreign oppressors. Let us say no more; let us end our enemies by working together.

To the rest of our friends and allies, I say Israel is going to be strong again. Israel is going to be reliable again. It’s going to be a great and reliable ally again. It’s going to be a friend again. We’re going to finally have a coherent foreign policy based upon Israeli interests and the shared interests of our allies.

We’re getting out of the nation-building business and instead focusing on creating stability in the world. Our moments of greatest strength came when politics ended at the water’s edge. We need a new rational Israeli foreign policy, informed by the best minds and supported by all parties.

I ask that all party presidents rally behind me in support of this new great era.

Let’s make Israel great again!

Cordially,

Milo McInnes