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In the spirit of:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqObJtGrKaA


Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the first proper Race of the races. "What? Which races?" you may be wondering, and rightfully so. Let me therefore explain to you something from German history:

Our story begins somewhere in the 19th century. Those days many equalled freedom from church with freedom from God, to give a bit of an idea of how different it was to e.g. the medieval age. Well, and in that setting there were some who were like:
-"Dude, if we categorize various "races" of dogs, then why not humans?"
-"Dude, let's do it."

And so off they went putting humans into categories based on similar characteristics as with dogs. And they made a book. And that book was bought and read and even used in propaganda. And then there was Hitler, most of the civilized world at least realized afterwards what a jerk he and hislike were in various aspects. And then there was today, with some people gloryfying jerkiness and whatnot.

So, introduction to the many failed theories done, and let's get on with ridiculing the perception within them race theories or zoological categorization if you will.


What a beautiful day it is. On the startline, we have aria, black, jew, red, white and yellow. And off we go.

At first we can see that aria, black and white take the lead, with aria and white making use of the legs they apparently inherited directly from black. Followed closely by red who took a moment at start to enjoy life as is. And last jew and yellow who seem to be arguing about a confucian concept, which apparently sounds as if a wild animal is chasing them other races, so they speed up increasing the distance between them and the jew-yellow argument in which currently they argue about underrepresentation of especially various hinduistic and jewish schools of thought. And there is the first turn of this race. And there... Ladies and Gentlemen, Jesus the Messiah himself. What's that? Jew just quit the race, and yellow too because half an hour of a conversation is not really a conversation apparently. And there we have it, white running past Jesus thinking he is one of them cup-holders at marathons, aria ignoring him completely, black apparently being behind a dune, and red with nothing left to have anyhow. And the next turn, with currently the field being white, aria, red and black, who apparently managed to find a way out through the dune. And who is there? To Muslims Prophet Mohammed himself. And again, white thinks he is a cup-holder, aria ignored, red nothing left to have anyhow. Black tho this time there, but seems to be focusing on something different than what some would call a quarrel of slave-holder gangs (regardless of whether "imported or enforced to or used to from Romans" or not). Sorry about the interruption, back to the race. The remaining four races are on the final now. And, ladies and gentlemen, white just dropped with all that stuff white is carrying, falling to 4th position, aaand white not really making any effort to get least up. Now, with the lead taking ...

-Please insert coin if you want to continue reading.-

Uhm... sorry about that. The Race of races doesn't have any sponsor. Where were we at? Ah, the lead taking red closely followed by black. Aria stopped at something reflective, you know, mirror thing. And there... what the heck... both stopped and are shaking hands. Can we get a close-in on that? We can? Great, so... what is going on? Ahh, they just both realized that their ancestry dates way more back than any of the other races, as if a far relative many didn't even know exists. How nice. And now they seem to be already talking about economical woes.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, that's it. The Race of races is over, like it or not. But hey, what is the imagination of some old german (pseudo)scientist compared to the imagination of many an other person, right?