I Stand Ready to Be in the Cool Kids Club
Jude Conners
Greetings and Salutations. I'm Jude Conners and I would like to talk to you today about impending war. I know that we all saw the DoW against the USA by the British. Such a bold move by a proud and pompous shit-tier nation is bound to attract attention. But, did you know WHY the British want to go to war with USA?
Gather round, my fellow Americans, and join in a cheer of the days of eRep Old, the days when Field Marshall was a worthy achievement. The days when your storage was only 20 spaces. The days when the best way to manage a company was by putting it in your org. The days when the Beta Giants were called the oldfags by the noobtastic V1 Babies. The days when DIO DIO DIO was more than just a catchphrase and people actually used to chat in #usa-chat.
See back then, things between the eUSA and the eUK were not so great. Stemming from fallout over a failed alliance and backstabbing, "I STAND READY TO KILL REDCOATS!!! became the rallying battle cry of the Americans. Multiple wars and a history of strained relations, even as allies, has been the status quo, primarily due to the United Kingdom's constant foreign affairs policy of flip-flopping like a Banger Sister at a rock concert.
Just a few weeks ago, I was a Congressman and Deputy Minister of War in the UK and have had a ringside seat to the derpiness. I had the opportunity to jump back to America to get involved with SHIELD and the Federalist Party and I took it. I had to get away from the incredible stupidity that was UK politics. But the UK isn't happy about that. And that is why they are deciding whether or not to declare war on the USA.
Think I'm lying?
So let's give them what they want, right? I encourage the UK to declare war on the USA. Come and get me, boys! After the two days that it'll take the USA to wipe UK is over, I will ask WildOwl to appoint me to the position of Emperor and Lord over the American English colonies. Afterwards, I will be worthy even enough to be invited to the ranks of CKC: Cool Kids Club.
As always, it's been your pleasure.
Listen to the Magic Carpet Ride with Jude Connors - LIVE every Friday Night 19:00-22:00 eRepublik time on RadioStar.FM. You'll be glad you did!
Comments
CKC
🙂
We'll just get NWG to shit in WO's cereal in real life until you back off.
Jackie is hotter, take your twisted hippie logic somewhere else
Breasts make all the difference.
She'll just steal your soul
I'm OK with that.
pretty cool.. the War of the Jude.
Crazier things have been fought over. I'm just that freaking awesome.
We should officially declare you a (hot) female if this happens, because I never heard of a war being fought over a man.
UK
Nuf Said
That's actually Swenglish for "The war of the Jew". Jude = Jew in Swedish.
vvootteeedddd!
I stand ready to kill redcoats 🙂
Interesting.
Oh dear
Emperor and Lord over the American English colonies
Emperor is the highest position in a feudal society. Meaning that you cannot be given that unless you want to break free from the nation that is eUS. If eUS is an empire you can be given King of UK though.
Seppo... eRep😕=RL, bro. just saying.
DON'T MESS UP TITLES MAN. THEY ARE SRS BSNS!
FIST
Did no one actually click on the link...
Trolling is too easy in this game!
Waaaaarrrrr
http://www.erepublik.com/en/main/law/United-Kingdom/153663
Actually I did... and lol'd mah ass off! Nice welcome.
I also left a link to your post in this article.
eUK have once again let us down... seriously, if that welcome message was the first thing I seen when joining the game, i'd be like 'fuck yeah!'
Pity. You can't have anything nice anymore.
meh, we got closer than we ever would in times gone by...
We'll just have to PTO the Top 5 (again) and hand pick Congressman that have a sense of humour...
I guess you are referring to the KKK
Nice to have you back Jude, stirring up trouble as always!
Anything less would be uncivilized
wow, I had totally forgotten about the 20 space storage
Isnt Donna like a scientology weirdo tho?
And she's kinda fat. But the other option isn't too great either.