Haha Male Genitals On The Sidewalk

Day 2,781, 17:14 Published in USA USA by Senryaku

>Insert Image of Male Genitals in this general location, but don't get me banned too fast please I only just had my firstborn child.

lol jk kids are for plebs who can't afford to be rich. Obviously. But statistically, couples who have children do have less money.
Here, Have a Graffe to show you my meanings:



Welcome to the truth, nerd. I heard graphs are good for showing people how many shits and giggles you can give to something.

Since I have no children as children are for plebs and no female would ever sleep with me in her right mind (which is why I use alcohol and a large assortment of drugs to get the job done) I decided to look down at the ants around my feet and I realised that they weren't actually ants anymore, they had evolved into ants with tiny human baby heads and began squealing, crying and laughing. The hoard of grotesque miniature infants quickly overwhelmed my senses and began to crawl up my legs. Except, when I looked down, there weren't any of the disgusting antfants on my legs, the little assholes were crawling under my skin. I could see the skin coming loose from the 100% fat layer beneath it as they burrowed their way up towards my crotch, stomach, arms and face; in retrospect perhaps the twinkie-only diet for 10 years really did a number on me.

It didn't take very long for my skin to peel off from the layers of fat, and I was horrified. I began puking almost constantly, stopping only briefly to catch my breath. I could not black out, there was no escape. My body was not mine to control but I could feel it all happening. They suddenly burst out from my skin in multiple areas across the entirety of my body, the holes excreting a lime-colored liquid at an alarming rate.

My skin was soon gone, and all I could see when I looked down was the ooze – the ooze that my body had become.

Don't do drugs, kids.