Congress - a barrel of laughs [week4]

Day 2,495, 18:01 Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom by VoodooMike71

Hold on a moment. This is my fourth weekly report on what’s been going on in Congress. Congress terms last one month, and yet there’s still a week until the next Congress election. How the hell does that work? No wonder Congress is such a mess - we can’t even work out weeks and months properly.

Or - and this is a LOT more likely - Congress is some kind of horrendous time-sink. Certainly sitting there watching some of the bun fights debates unravel can easily make mere minutes feel like hours or even days.

A sink. With the time in it. A time sink.

Anyway, enough temporal ponderings. On with the Very Important Public Record Of What Has Happened In Congress This Week, or VIPROWHHICTW for short.


MPP: Chile
proposer: darth sidious2.0 (from Chile)
A nice easy one to start with. The Chilean CP proposed an MPP, and we graciously accepted. Except, strangely, for one person. You know who you are (but no-one else does).

PASSE😨 34 votes to 1


MPP: Indonesia
proposer: WookieO (CP)
Ditto. Except for the “being proposed by the Chilean leader” part - that would make no sense. This one was proposed by our own CP instead. He’s a Wookie you know.

Incidentally, whoever voted against the Chile MPP was fine with Indonesia. So that’s good to know.

PASSE😨 33 votes to 0


Natural Enemy: Sweden
proposer:Tugboat Davy
Hmmm … if all the proposals this week are this easy to pass, this report is going to be duller than usual. Luckily, excitement is coming.

Anyway, no-one likes Sweden - probably something to do with Abba or Volvo or something - so NEing them comes naturally to Congress.

PASSE😨 28 votes to 1


MPP: Turkey
proposer: WookieO (CP)

+++INCOMING PREDICTABLE CHRISTMAS JOKE WARNING+++

What? Another MPP? This time with Turkey?

There was absolutely no debate on this one. Maybe it’s because we all like Turkey. However, this isn’t Christmas (ba-dum-tsccch!), so it’s more likely that everyone was bored of MPPs. Vote yes, move on.

PASSE😨 29 votes to 1

Turkeys. Christmas. See? I don’t know why I bother


MPP: Macedonia (FYROM)
proposer: WookieO (CP)
Never, in any field of human endeavour, has anything as innocent as a proposed MPP with Macedonia caused such massive rumbling discord in a Congress otherwise just about ready for a nap.

WookieO informed us, presumably quite innocently, that Macedonia had requested an MPP. Immediately cries of “For the love of god, why?” went up from several congressmen (including me), closely followed by stuff like “who the hell are FYROM?”, “haven’t they fought against us in the past?” and “do they ever do any damage for us?”. Each indignant cry was forcefully countered by “they’re our allies!”, “they’re in a friendly alliance!” and - occasionally - “stop being a xenophobe!”.

This went on for, frankly, far too long. No progress was made, no minds were changed, no ground was given. The few congressmen who weren’t already screaming at each other chose this as the perfect time to wade in and scream “shut up! just sign the bloody MPP and move on! FFS!”. This didn’t seem to help.

Congress debates Macedonia in a calm and professional way

Anyway, to cut a surprisingly long story not very short, this continued for an eternity. At some point - almost unnoticed - WookieO went ahead and proposed the MPP, and more people voted for it than against it.

Personally, I voted against it - mostly because it seems as if Congress just ratifies any old MPP that someone chooses to propose (see the Pakistan MPP earlier in the month).

PASSE😨 20 votes to 7


Work Tax: reduce to 1%
proposer: Zaphod the Kinky Psychopath

Hot on heels of The Macedonia Affair, a proposal to cut work tax to 1% arrived (again). Scorn was duly poured upon it.

REJECTE😨 25 votes to 9


MPP: Poland
proposer: WookieO (CP)
Easier to agree on than Macedonia. There was a brief attempt at a comedy debate on whether we should debate this MPP, which turned into a comedy debate on whether we should debate having a debate. But it didn’t last very long; it turned out to be less funny than anyone thought.

PASSE😨 32 votes to 0


And there you have it. Another time-warp affected week in Congress. To be honest, it’s been a couple of days since the last proposal - I think Macedonia-fatigue has truly set in. There have been some half-hearted discussions about the current immigration applicants, but nothing too serious. I imagine that everyone’s attention has turned to the forthcoming congress elections - no-one wants to miss out on another month of free biscuits and regular naps in-depth political debate leading to important decisions.

Or everyone’s asleep.


Talking of standing for Congress again, I can’t abide the thought of a month without having my fingers in the pie of executive government. However, in TUP we have to accompany our applications with a presentation.

You want a presentation? I’ll give you a presentation…
Click for lovely multimedia goodness


You know that competition where you need 25 separate comments on your articles? Yeah, that’s still running, and I haven’t done it yet. Please don’t force me to start offering bribes - vote, shout and comment instead. You know it makes sense.





What party are you in? What? Really? Well it's the wrong one. Click the image below to sort it out…