Alexander Hamilton in China?!?

Day 763, 21:03 • Published in USA China • by Alexander Hamilton
Jiangsu

Welcome to America!

As a welcome gift to all Chinese in Jiangsu I offer you Q5 cheeseburgers and fries.

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Sadly I’m too lazy to Wikipedia any info about Jiangsu to put in this article. However I will work very very not hard if elected to represent Jiangsu. I can promise you this: nothing. I will openly take bribes from anyone wanting American citizenship. I will use my two proposals in Congress not for your benefit but for lulz. But hey here is a picture of a dragon:

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You like this kinda shit right?

I believe all Chinese should have a dragon. So as a public service I have included my guide to catching dragons.

To catch your own dragon all you need are a few simple materials: a box, a stick, string, and a dragon whistle; optional: a butterfly net and a can of Raid (Hornet Raid works best, dragons are pretty tough.

Step One: Tie the string to the stick.
Step Two: Prop the box up with the stick.
Step Three: Hide behind a rock or a bush, with end of string in hand.
Step Four: Use your dragon whistle and get ready!
Step Five: PULL!
Step Six: Holy Sh!t it’s a dragon!
Step Seven: You’re dead, Congratulations!

Now you may be asking “Alexander Hamilton aren’t you dead?” my answer to that is: So? Another question you may be wondering is “Alexander Hamilton why dragons?” my answer to that is: cats are lame. Now you may think that this is political suicide, after all the lolcat lobby controls the levers of power. I say its time we cure our government of the sickness that is lolcats. They come streaming in like a plague o’er this great virtual land.

I have a plan to rid erepublik of lolcats. It consists mainly of a list of five ways to kill lolcats.

1. Don’t lol when you see and lolcat
2. Guns
3. loldragons
4. Throwing your monitor out of a window upon seeing an lolcat (warning do not try at home)
5. Insert meme here

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loldragon

So vote for Alexander Hamilton who will bring death to lolcats… or don’t.

Also this is a joke, who in their right mind is anti lolcat?