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A Return to Douchebaggery

Day 2,125, 02:19 • Published in South Africa

• by Rico Suave

I am writing this in the dimness of my small shack at the end of Jizzie's backyard. I'm trying to remember what's been going on this past month. It has certainly been an eventful one for the eSouth African Popular Front.

But has it been a good one? And what is "a good month"? The People's Front of eSouth Africa has risen, sure. We've gained influence in the Emergency Council, sure. But let me ask you this, fellow party members.

Do you remember what it was like to live without fear? Do you? Supreme Comrade Jizzef Stalin has ruled with an iron fist and in his capacity as chairman of the People's Court of Dignity and the 62nd Army Court Martial he has sent many of you to the labour camps for trivial matters.

I am here to put an end to the terror!
Dear members of the eSouth African Popular People's Front, on the 15th you must vote for spineless diplomacy. You must vote Suave.

P.S If this coup fails Claudio was in on it all along.

Comments

Gregor Lucius Day 2,125, 02:30

I'm behind you Mr. Suave..........Far behind you.
As questionable Spokes Person for this party I will always speak the words of anyone that pays me good money for it.
Voted

Rico Suave Day 2,125, 05:13

You know I'm good for it.

Wilpanzer Day 2,125, 05:48

Good luck mate.

Marmaduke IV Day 2,125, 06:22

It's the end of the line for Jizzie and his reign of terror. Shithawks are coming and they're flying in low.

atrawall Day 2,125, 08:32

Those shitbirds are coming from everywhere, Randy.

atrawall Day 2,125, 08:34

I know nothing of this coup. I may fully back it if you win however. But if Jizzie is running again, I'd love for my master to win. He just has those ways with words.

AdUnit Day 2,125, 09:18

Jizzie is worst case Ontario. I realized it and left the Popular Front because of his dictator-like control. He told me that I couldn't be a douchebag anymore and had to become popular? Uhhhh. Frick off, Randy. Imma be what I want to be. Good luck Rico, you are the only hope the Popular Front has

Rico Suave Day 2,125, 09:35

Umm.. That's the Popular People's Front. We don't want to be associated with the Popular Front. Splitters!

Gregor Lucius Day 2,125, 10:36

Nor with the Front of Popular People, splitters x2

Rico Suave Day 2,125, 11:05

Ah, the FPP. He's over there.