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[WHPR Day 2430] Free Stuff, Colbert’s America, DoE Update, War Map & Analysis and ADITL

Dateline: Wednesday, July 16^th, 2014 (Day 2430)
Location: James S. Brady Press Room, The White House

Today’s WHPR:
: 1: Putting Food on the Table
: 2: Colbert's America
: 3: DoE Update
: 4: War Map & Analysis
: 5: A Day in the Life


Editor: SecMe😛 Dave Gulya, Deputy SecMed Jude Conners
Contributors: Franklin Stone, SColbert, Irule777, and Alexander_Auctoritas
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Putting Food on the Table
_{Franklin Stone}



In my previous article I pointed out two excellent ways to earn gold, as a young citizen gold is the most important thing to acquire. Young citizens who are in one of the Military Academies most times will not be fighting, which is the only time a citizen needs food other than to train and work in a commune.

There are many fine programs where new citizens may get free food to aid them in working and strength training, four of the Top 5 parties have such programs and all MUs offer supplies to their soldiers. All of the programs below are run either by private donations or out of party funds, none of them receive tax revenue.

Another fine Department of Interior program is Meals on Wheels - FREE FOOD!
1. Be a US citizen at level 25 or under
2. Grab your profile ID (this is the number at the end of your citizen profile page url)
3. Go to Bank Up 2 Strengthen Up

We The People Feed The World - Food for all
1. Grab your profile link
2. Go to Feed The World

Federalist Party No Fed Left Behind - Food and or Tanks for members
1. Grab your profile link
2. Go to No Fed Left Behind

American Military Party Food & Tank Program - Food and Weapons for members
1. Register at American Military Party Forums
2. Visit the forum and apply at AMP Food & Tanks

United States Workers Party BR4iNs f0r z0MBi3s - Food for most, Tanks for members
1. Register @ eusaforums.com
2. Find your profile link
3. Visit and post your profile link @ BR4iNs f0r z0MBi3s




Colbert’s America
_SColbert


SColbert: Hello Mr. President. Thank you for agreeing to this interview
dmjohnston:Absolutely, I try to make myself available to the media whenever I can.
SColbert: Please tell us about yourself. Any dark secrets shared only between you and a close friend through a blood pact, and the trauma of a night time horse ride through the Grand Canyon in order to discover the truth behind why you were left at an orphanage in Kiev Ukraine, one dark and stormy night, with only a cardboard box to protect you, and mysterious note on the side reading “he has a big booty, so I named him “Big Booty”?”
dmjohnston: Well, I've been around eRep on and off since late 2009. I once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die, but I try not to talk about it too often. In RL, I'm 25, married, with the cutest baby in the world.
SColbert: Cuter than me?
dmjohnston: As difficult as that is to believe, yes.
SColbert: I rarely accuse people of being a liar, but you sir are a liar.

SColbert: The title of your first campaign article was “The Time Has Come.” My question to you is, what time is it, and why do you think it has come?
dmjohnston: It's 12:56 pm. The original meaning of the title, in addition to being a song lyric that began my themed titles, was that it was time for me to make a serious POTUS run.
dmjohnston: People have been trying to get me to do it for a while and this month felt like the right time for it.
SColbert: So you easily give into pressure from others?
dmjohnston: If it involves cocaine, absolutely. I've toyed with the idea of being POTUS for a while, though. Just never really made the moves necessary to make it happen until this month.
SColbert: President Teddy Roosevelt has long been your avatar. President Roosevelt is famous for his love of hunting, and even went on safaris where he killed elephants and rhinos. I guess my question to you is, why do you hate animals?
dmjohnston: While I actually have never hunted, myself, there is certainly something to be said about the projection of human dominance in the world that it displays. I'm more of a fisherman. Much more relaxing.
SColbert: I have to agree, we humans are the best.
SColbert: Not enough animals know it
SColbert: You once wrote “I campaigned from a maternity ward” in reference to your first bid for the presidency occurring during the birth of your daughter. How can we as Americans be sure that we will come first before the needs of your children? Furthermore how can we be sure you won’t produce anymore children that will distract you from your duties as POTUS?
dmjohnston: Well, the fact that I still campaigned with all that going on is probably a good sign. I've always maintained a pretty busy schedule, and I think the last 10 days have shown that I have the time to commit to the people of the eUS, and more importantly to you personally.
SColbert: I think I speak for every American when I say, thank you for putting us strangers before your baby.
SColbert: Moving on...
SColbert: You recently introduced the idea of press briefings. These events occur daily, and allow anyone to ask you a question. Why do you think ordinary Americans deserve to get answers to their questions? Wouldn't it be more fun to allow them to guess wildly at the direction of our country? Why are you against fun?
dmjohnston: Having been involved in the government directly for most of the last year, I can say that there's been multiple times where I knew things about what was going on and saw people speculating about it and in some cases showing concern for what was going to happen. While some things require discretion for security reasons, the eAmerican people as a whole should be able to know what it is that my team and I are doing and what our goals and direction are. When we all know the big picture, we can all work together much more efficiently to accomplish it.
SColbert: That is brave of you. Positioning yourself as the anti-fun POTUS. What other fun things do you dislike?
dmjohnston: I dislike PTOs, terrorism, and vegetables.
SColbert: You recently engaged in negotiations with France. Did the meeting begin with them offering their surrender, or was it just assumed from the start? Follow up question, why even negotiate with the French?
dmjohnston: The meetings were a bit comical for me. Until the recent appearance of France's very own CC Warrior, we've had little resistance to our occupation there, nor have the other nations holding French regions. I was approached early on by our ambassador about their desire for discussions, and I had made it a point in my campaign to be willing to interact with other nations in a congenial manner. There's no reason to make more enemies than the ones we have or turn a on-again-off-again relationship like France has had with the US into a bitter affair. I heard them out, the terms weren't agreeable, we discussed it, but ultimately couldn't find a reason to continue with their continued resistance during the discussions.
SColbert: I think we can all agree the French are arrogant, greasy, surrender monkeys. A proud country thanks you for telling these cowards to shove a croissant in it.

SColbert: I have talked to many people recently who have expressed interest, horror, disgust, arousal, and even interest in your strange use of Tom Hanks’ head on animal bodies in your articles. Should we be concerned by this strange fetish of your’s?
dmjohnston: I think it's evident to just about anyone that Tom Hanks is a great actor. It's a short logical connection to say that Tom Hanks is a lot of animals.
SColbert: Even a fish?
dmjohnston: I suppose a fish is a possibility. Definitely a dolphin, though.
SColbert: As an admitted fisherman, you would have no problem catching Tom Hanks, as you find it "relaxing"?
dmjohnston: If I caught a Tom Hanks fish, I'm fairly sure I could life the rest of my life surviving on the theme park I would build around him.
SColbert: Valiant Thor has recently returned, and is shouting incoherently about something. You and him are both former PP’s of WTP. Seeing as you have the experience to judge I ask: Valiant Thor great PP of WTP, or greatest PP of WTP?
dmjohnston: It really depends on your definition of greatness I suppose. I will say that WTP did a hell of a job responding to the threat he posed a few months back. We pulled ourselves out of the Top 5 to protect congress, and it was a hell of a road to rebuild.
SColbert: I'll put you down for "great."
dmjohnston: That's fair.
SColbert: I am known for being both fair and balanced.
SColbert: Finally, if history is any indicator POTUS’s tend to have a poor second term filled with scandals, and ineffective leadership. Can we expect a second term from you, and if so do you get some sort of joy from feeling pain?
dmjohnston: I'm actually still on the fence about a second term. I'm leaning toward no right now, just because I don't want to be on of those Presidents.
SColbert: Some would fairly call you a pussy for not running a second time. Would you agree?
dmjohnston: I can take an insult. I'd rather do a good job and step away when it's necessary than stay on and do a half-assed job.
SColbert: A strong answer from a strong man (did I mean that in the dictator sense? Please feel free to guess wildly!).
SColbert: Thank you for sitting down with me Mr. President
dmjohnston: Absolutely, thanks for having me.




DoE Update
_Irule777




The department of education this month launched a brand new program completely centered around getting new players involved in government, party, and military unit positions. So far the New Player Involvement Program has been doing an awesome job in its first couple of days.

The NPIP, otherwise known as the Worker’s Program, has 13 people currently in the program, and through the usage of several wonderful staff members we’ve been doing a great job in putting these excited new members in interesting jobs and getting them involved. I often see many of them on IRC now in their party channels and it’s thrilling to watch these new players really get involved in the game further. Helping new players is one of the most important things we can do, and we’re doing it very well with this program.

The NPIP focuses on helping new players individually. We get them to sign up, get some basic questions answered, and then provide them guides, advice, assistance, jobs, and IRC help that’s specific to their needs. This has required a great staff and a lot of work, but luckily we have some dedicated people helping out, Kortanul, Sniper, Delyruin, and myself have all put a lot of time into this.

For any new players out there, we hope you’ll consider giving the program a shot. Everything is customized and will personally help you, so we don’t just send you a bunch of random links that we repeat to everyone.

So far we’ve matched about seven with jobs (we’ve had some issues finding open jobs as we’re a new program and it took some time to coordinate it all) and we’re matching up the rest as we speak. From MU messengers, to party media staff, to Defense staff, to Education staff, we’re getting these players involved.

Interested in joining up? Check it out: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MRiCl2Fjr-ud9TzGcLi2MzMQ9KxbVbO9-zpMxxcCb0w/edit

-Irule777, Program Director



War Map & Analysis
_{Alexander_Auctoritas}


Let's start with Glory! Pakistan successfully conducted an AirStrike on Israel!



Congratulations, ePakistan! Now, can you hold the region?



Now, we move to the WAR with France. It started out really well for the eUSA, winning the first two battles. France has not secured and even won a region. The fight for Pays de la Loire rages, but France looks to secure this one, as well. That's alright. The USA is focusing her efforts elsewhere. Let the Frogs have a couple. We'll take what we want, when we want. Our Pacifica ally, Russia needs our help dealing with a problem in the south, Romania. Romania has won five out of six battles in this current wAR. The battle for Volga Vyatka rages at printing, with Romania having a narrow upper-hand at the moment. A survey of the battlefield shows us that the eUSA is ready to defend her tonight and every night for the foreseeable future. FOR THE MOTHERLAND!

HAIL RUSSIA!
HAIL USA!
HAIL PACIFICA!

At the same time, Bulgaria and Chile are marching on Romania. Bulgaria is currently winning by a landslide in Oltenia, as Chile continues to move freely in Transilvania. Chile has already won three battles in the war, and shows no sign of stopping. Chile has literally been an unstoppable force in Europe. I am thankful to call them one of our allies. Long Live Chile!

Moving on, the United Kingdom is wrecking Canada. They have won six battles in the current war. But, do not fear for Canada. She is safe in India. But, it is still a great retalitory war for the eUK. Onward and upward, you beautiful Brits!

Unfortunately, our southern neighbors Mexico are having a tough time with Colombia. I know these two have conducted training wars in the past, but after losing four battles to Colombia, I'm convinced this is no training war. Aurora is having as much trouble repelling Colombia as LETO is repelling the eUK. Interesting to watch these two alliances flesh out and see how well they coordinate themselves.

Latvia and Belarus continue to battle, with a back and forth war. There is no clear leader at this time. Meanwhile, after winning Thirteen battles in their war with Sweden, Lithuania has now lost three battles. We'll keep an eye here to see if they can turn it back on Asgard.

Now we get to some meat in Europe. Serbia enjoyed a x2 determination bonus against Poland and ran amuck. They won Thirteen battles against Poland before finally being turned back in North Rhine-Westphalia. Poland has now won the last two battles and Bavaria looks to go Poland's way, easily. Good to see them recover so handily against Serbia. Right after the determination wore off, Croatia joined the fun and NE'd Serbia. Croatia has won the first two battles but looks like they will be turned back in Belgrade. In order to help their long-time ally, Hungary NE'd Croatia and has attacked them in Vojvodina. Hungary looks to take it and help push Croatia back. All in all, Croatia looks to be hurt as the focus right now. Poland will take a long time to conquer back all her regions, but we can be sure that she will.

Enjoy the Show and Keep Shaking that Ass.



Another Day in the Life
_{Dave Gulya, Secretary of Media}

So as I'm finishing a conversation with Deputy Speaker David Wilson, who has brought me up to speed on the situation at the Capitol (the communications/forum issue) not the soap opera that is Derphoof/Seppo/Irule. DW says that Derphoof has eliminated Valiant Thor as the threat (for now) and promises to keep me updated.

The other phone on my desk rings, it's the private line from the President.
I stare at the phone for a second.


dmjohnston would like me to attend a meeting with the State Department regarding talks with e-Cuba. I insist that I have no idea what to do regarding matters of State and the President then explains the Order of Presidential Succession and that despite its obvious unlikelihood, if there was some kind of disaster and all of the Elected Officials in the Administration were destroyed, I would be required to assume the office of President.



I make it there before Derphoof and his staff arrive. The aide shows me to the room and asks if I'd like anything. I politely decline and begin reading e-mails from my phone. I'm thinking there is something that I should have done by now but it escapes me. The meeting goes off without a hitch and there is an agreement that will be presented to both the President of the e-USA and e-Cuba for their signatures.

Riding back to my office in the West Wing, it dawns on me...

Did I candidate myself for Regiment Captain? Luckily I click on the Vote button and my name is there as well as that of another soldier in the Unit. I can't vote for myself? Has anyone else voted yet? What do I do now?

Click vote!

There is one vote for my competitor and none for me. What the @#$% have I done. I've only been Regiment Captain for one month and I'm gonna lose because I clicked a button! I haven't even had time to even implement any of my ideas for the Regiment, I've only just begun!!!

Panicked, I start calling around. "Rainysunday is in an important meeting and cannot be disturbed". What do I do now? It comes to me...the President wanted a report of the meeting I attended at the State Department. I head for The Oval and ask his receptionist if he has a minute. The door to the expansive office is ajar and dmjohnston sees me and waves me in. "Mr. President, I begin..."
dmjohnston cuts me off, "you're not going to win Regiment Captain voting for the other guy" he says with a coy smile on his face. I begin to stammer and he holds up a finger to his lips and gives me a "sssshhhh" then he reaches over to an impressive stereo he keeps hidden in his desk and plays this.

And he is right...I message the Regiment and ask for their votes, I get to serve another month as Regiment Captain and continue to serve at the pleasure of the President.



For Greeling:

Secretary of Media:Dave Gulya


Deputy Secretary of Media: Jude Connors



[WHPR Day 2430]
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/-whpr-day-2430-second-time-around-2416714/1/20
Second Time Around

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