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One day I’ll come through my eUK dream, but it won’t mean a soddin’ thing…

Alright there you lovely lot? Hope you’re all well.




Thanks for a great month of UK Reform Party craziness! Our ex-PP and last month’s initial CP went missing. Then Congress elections fell on a Sunday (and we all know UKRPers do all their weird arsed business on a Sunday - well, I certainly do) and therefore our turnout was down. Then we had a very strange CP election where nobody really knew which way to vote….the two big choices appeared to be a cuddly gorilla or a cuddly commie. So hard, so very hard.

Anyway….I wanted to let you all know that I relish this craziness. I want more of it.

To that end, I’m running for Party President again.








When we were young, the future was so bright…

If you elect me again this month, I shall continue to press the buttons when I feel they need pressing….so I shall order an extremely sexy Congress candidates list and publish an article on the matter and if we’re backing a CP candidate, I shall press that button so very hard too.

I will also continue to be present on our Discord channel to answer any pressing questions, such as this one from Tommy Bumwhistle, 23, a UKRPer who hails from Philcollinsborough:


As I told young Tommy and to be honest this advice can be used in so many situations….

Spank the monkey. Spank it hard. Never fear bashing that bishop, nor choking that chicken. If you don’t, science has proven that it might fall off. True story.

Message me if you want the link to the Discord thingamajiggy.





Savour me, savour you, ahaaaaaa!

This time Robert da Bruce gets the gratuitous mention in my article, for absolutely no reason whatsoever, other than that he asked. Enjoy it. Savour it. Remember...this could have been you we were all savouring.



Thanks for reading and don’t forget to vote!

WookieO

UK Reform Party President
Hairiest ex-CP of the eUK
Royal Whipping Boy