[Reform] I see your primary and raise you an Appleby

Day 2,765, 12:03 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Sir Humphrey Appleby


Evenin' gents o7,

After Gali's infamous attempt at a primary led to a clear Adastros victory it was obvious that it was going to be, for once, a difficult campaign to reclaim my rightful place guarding/embezzling the sacred UKRP Drinks Cabinet. After a few choice scotches in anticipation of obtaining better stuff after the election, a plan was hatched with my Good Friend Ajay to create a distraction in our less attractive sister party UKPP - cunningly luring all the sensible party voters away to once again guarantee a resounding zombie-vote victory that can traditionally be relied upon not to notice or care for internal primaries.

Now that the plan has worked there is obviously no need for the friendship with Kaiser 'Ajay' Wilhelm to continue, so in a political move most Italians would be proud of I am happy to announce that UK Reform will be staunchly backing the upstandin' an very admirable citizens standing up against the Kaiser's unjust oppression. Naturally this means we must also confront their evil allies BDP, fiefdom of the notorious Colonel Dapper, esquire HMP Wormwood Scrubs. No doubt the invading Argentinians will be amazed at how our 5th-rate spinoff of Game of Thrones is progressing - one may hope that they become too confused/disgusted to press their attack...

This paragraph will point out that as I was elected without a manifesto (my favourite type of electoral mandate), the party can be reassured almost everything will be made up as I go along. Should hopefully have an article out every 3 days - All complaints to Gali.

As I expect Kaiser Wilhelm will be putting his own brown-nosers and yesmen into Mongress I will be havin' a word with Rory to see if any of the fine fellows fighting for freedom in UKPP fancy a spot on our Congress list to get sensible people elected and reduce the Kaiser's own share.

Kind regards for your continued faith in my improvisation >_>


Appleby