[DoE] Press Release 7/02/2015
Department of Citizen Affairs
Hello America,
It has been a busy term at the Department of Education. This will be an update on some of the things the Department has been able to achieve.
American University
This has been one of the busiest months at the American University. The influx of students has been high and our great mentors have been hard at work educating the young citizens of our proud eCountry. So far this month, the American University has graduated five students, with more than that number currently making it through the system.
In a graduation ceremony in the Oblige Auditorium, Secretary Blande recognized the great accomplishments of Jaden A., AaronWebb85, DCristian07, Jhonfing, and Zero Hurricane. These five citizens graduated from the American University in the month of June and were awarded with the MrCarey Dedication to Education Award.
Question of the Day
The Question of the Day program has had a very busy month. Deputy Secretary EddieA has done an outstanding job filling out rewards and keeping track of the program. Last week, there were 84 total responses to QotD, with 79 correct responses. 3950 Q5 food was distributed. The closing balance of the QotD account was 22,317CC. Keep on participating in the program.
Department Audit
The final thing on the agenda is the Department Audit ordered by the Secretary. After reviewing the report provided by the Audit Committee, the Secretary has deemed the report 'too sensitive'. As such, the report has been sealed and will not be provided to the public. The names of the members of the Audit Committee have also been restricted.
That is it for today folks. We hope you will tune in later for more information from the Department of Education.
Sincerely,
Department of Education
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Comments
The end of a term nears!
o/
Nice job, DoE.
v
'...the Secretary has deemed the report 'too sensitive'.
'The names of the members of the Audit Committee have also been restricted.'
The expenditures of the Department of Education are 'too sensitive'? What our enemies might figure out we care about and educate our new citizens and how much it cost? Plus the members of the Audit Committee are secret? Why?
Never trusted anyone with my money who keeps slapping me on the back telling me all is well, yet refuses to publicly show the books; can you say, 'Bernie Madoff.'
I will also add that the DoE has done a very nice job, I simply see no reason to hide their expenditures; in case some wishes to explain.
FS, looks like you took the bait.
it's a joke.
Probably, but then again using government newspapers to bait citizens is pretty low; government newspapers should be used to inform citizens -not misinform them or bait them....
Stick your tongue into your cheek. Then reread that paragraph. It's intended to be a lighthearted way of filling space.
You would be 75% less irritating to people if you'd give them the occasional benefit of the doubt.
But then again, I don't think you WANT to be less irritating to people. So just ignore me.
With tongue in cheek I got the joke, I was simply joining in with the fun; problem is it seems only certain citizens may make those kinds of jokes. Also, while I got the joke; new citizens will not....
★★★★ Baaaa ★★★★
Love the AU paragraph 😃
I am also impressed with AU, especially since I was told such a program would fail....
It's all about how serious the people who run it are.
Hook, line AND sinker! Well done!
Actually since they are 'privately funded' their budget is none of my business, so I am wondering why a government that is losing it's grip on power would stoop to baiting it's citizens?
Bait & switch is a old used car salesman trick, you guys aren't selling car; right?
No one is baiting anyone, take a chill pill
So you believe that a new citizen would have understood the joke?
This is a 'government' newspaper and new citizens are sent here to learn, making jokes like that in your personal newspaper is one thing; doing so in a 'government' newspaper meant to educate new citizens is just wrong.
Instead of making jokes you could maybe write a paragraph about why America isn't involved in a war and why America has no Natural Enemy to fight against in order to earn True Patriot Medals....
Hehe.. I for one am glad that our Departments can show humor!
Meow! ♥
"MrCarey Dedication to Education Award" I love it and am greatly honored.
o/
DoE is too legit to quit!