Well i never
mick cain
Railroad tracks.
The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England , and English expatriates designed the US railroads.
Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did 'they' use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England , because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including England ) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels.
Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome , they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Bureaucracies live forever.
So the next time you are handed a specification/procedure/process and wonder 'What horse's arse came up with this?' , you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses' arses.)
Now, the twist to the story:
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah
The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's arse. And you thought being a horse's arse wasn't important? Ancient horse's arses control almost everything...
and CURRENT Horse's Arses in Brussels and London are controlling everything else!
I do hope this has been helpful !!
And finally
Condom factory
The largest condom factory in the States burned down. President Obama was awakened at 4 am by the telephone.
"Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA supply of condoms will be used up by the end of the week."
Obama: "Oh damn! The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies. We'll be ruined. We'll have to ship some in from Mexico .."
Telephone voice says, "Bad idea... The Mexicans will have a field day with this one. We'll be a laughing stock. What about the UK ?"
Obama: "Okay, I'll call Cameron and tell him we need five million condoms, ten inches long and three inches wide. That way, they'll continue to respect us as Americans."
Three days later, a delighted President Obama ran out to open the first of the 10,000 boxes that had just arrived. He found it full of condoms, 10 inches long and 3 inches wide, exactly as requested..
All coloured with Union Jacks with small writing on each one:
MADE IN ENGLAND - SIZE: SMALL
Comments
o7
\o/ Brilliant as always Mick
lol
He he he that's awesome truely LOL
Insightful
Nice Article Mick
lol
This is one of the best pages on the web I have ever read.
🙂
great.
V
v
Size small! xD
For you poor buggers at work - http://tinyurl.com/2ac4jdj
Whats that all about Hugh?
And how come you are a cannuke?
awwww, there was an auto link that kicked in where 'F8ck you Boss you ****' popped up with loud music...thought it would be awesome for those people at work and playing this game 😃
Yeah I am just bumming around (not literally dapper so put it away) for a bit
Not surprised you left assie,the way their CP was acting was despicable
You nutta.
Great...o/
This, weirdly, made my day 😛
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Bravo
LOL xD
great
If you're going to post someone elses writing, you should probably credit them. Both out of courtesy and to avoid litigation due to alleged plagiarism. 😉
Sigh,ffs doug,we've been through this before.These are emails i recieve from friends and family.I just share them with you guys for a little light entertainment.How the feck do i know who wrote and tbh i dont fecking care.Lighten up mate life is to short
well said, a joke belongs to the people who lough because of it
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