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Potpourri

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"I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then."

-- Lewis Carroll


Jokes

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A man and his wife were going on a cruise for their honeymoon. They packed their bags and got ready to go, but forgot two things -- condoms and Dramamine -- for the man had the terrible misfortune of getting motion sickness on ships.

The man and his wife stop at the store on the way to the cruise, and the man went in to get the necessary supplies. He walked up to the counter with a twenty-pack of condoms and asked for the largest bottle of Dramamine available.

The pharmacist looked at him for a second and then asked him, "If it makes you so sick, why do you do it?"

-o-o-o-o-

When my husband, Mark, took his best pick-up truck to our insurance inspection, the teenage receptionist was sent to look over the truck.
Armed with a checklist and a few simple questions, she breezed through the chore. She asked, "What are the age and make of the vehicle?"

Mark replied, It's a 65 Ford." Apologetic about its desperate condition, he added, "It's an old fossil."

Inside, the office assistant [a blonde] entered the data into her computer and frowned. "Is there a problem?" asked Mark.

"Mr. Evans, our computers have a lot of automotive data," she explained, "but it never heard of a Ford Fossil."

-o-o-o-o-

All but two of the ballerinas were in costume early for the matinee performance. At 1:55 PM, the distressed director asked the remaining women why they weren't dressed yet. The first one replied, "It may seem like a silly superstition, but I never put mine on until 1:58."

"What about you? The same thing?" he asked the other dancer.

"Oh, yes. I have a two to two tutu, too!"

-o-o-o-o-

My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.