My Ode to Yui,

Day 3,173, 15:01 • Published in USA USA • by Gnilraps
Lowdown (Mandatory listening)
Day 3173 of the New World
July 28, 2016



As Yui knows, I like to pretend that he is the worst player ever. He might actually be the worst player ever, but the fact that he knows that I have to pretend that he’s the worst player ever probably helps his depression a little bit. It isn’t easy, after all, being the worst player ever. I wouldn’t know.

But because in addition to pretenting that Yui is the worst player ever (which he may very well actually BE), I also like to privately try to convince him that I am actually kidding when I am pretending to pretent that he is the worst player ever. Multi-level obfuscation is what he hates most, after all.

But I don’t actually want Yui to kill himself IRL, you see, I just don’t see an actual purpose for him in eRepublik life. Or at least that’s how I carry on…

But since I sense a need to slightly swing the balance of my bullying in such way as to talk him off the ledge, I thought I’d write the following ode to Yui, “CP” of eUSA.





Among the impossible musings of virtual creatures inhabiting “e-”
Appears a detestible monster whose moniker starts with a dull “Y-” “-u-” ”-ee”
At first neodimium seemed like a thing USA would purloin with great glee
But Yui got beat by Kanuks from the snow as they nailed the P Island of E.

Our Yui took stock of his failure deciding the timing would never be sweeter
As long as he managed to glom all the credit for Rubber, Cobalt and Saltpeter
Pretending to be the sole driver controlling the totter and national teeter
He snatched up the label of “hero” and rapidly ran to be USA’s leader.

The wool gently pulled over eyeballs aplenty he waited for Plato’s next word
But days became weeks became months without anything decent to pander toward
It looked like our Admin had gelded the game without reason to carry the sword
So Yui retreated to Legends of Leagues while our PoTUS was simply cardboard.

Alas, but I said I’d compose a bose-verse which would complement him for his run
I’ll say here and now that despite all the jabs, he’s in fact quite a barrel of fun.
Behind the great scenes of activity-lost stands a PoTUS whose image is spun
So worship the Image of two-term CP, Yui zero and zero and one.





Now go read this interview I did with HadrianX, and subscribe to his awesome paper.




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