(SFP)How to: Scare and/or grab someones attention to read your article

Day 2,660, 20:27 • Published in USA USA • by Josh Whitehead
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Step 1:
Title of the article must have at least one of the following words. Have a second one for added effect.

Democracy
Freedom
fear
PTO
AJay Bruno
Pfiffer
Lets
WE
Dictatorship
USA
Will YOU STAND FOR(enter second word here)?

Step 2:

Start your first few paragraphs with :

"You might have not heard this"
"WE CANNOT LET THIS HAPPEN!"
"For too long you have chaffed at this notion. Too long have you forgotten your true mistress, my countrymen. We tried in December, to inform you, to beseech you, to change you from your wicked ways, and you resisted."
"Make YOUR VOICE HEARD!"
"Congress is doing something bad"
"My butt hurts because opposing side is big meany heads and here is my counter article"


Step 3:

BUY VOTES

Step 4: Add something funny/cute/stupid so your readers can like:





and last but not least



I wrote this article just for the clear coincidence that all the titles in the top five and beyond have had in the last 34 hours. Calm your butts.

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-Joshy
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