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Dear Stranger,
I always come to you when I am not in the best of my days. And I know you do not mind me, because let’s face it, you see through me.

Let me tell you something about my demons. They are... charming. Long hair and dauntless eyes that reflects my deepest desires. Their voice drenched in hemlock. They have wings and they seem to behave like angels around everyone. But I know better. I see them often. I see the reflection, and I know it is just me.

I want to hold the gray roll between my fingers and take a drag from the cigarette, harming the demons inside my heart that disturb my sanity. But I cannot. Because Someone asked me not to.

I think that Someone sees through me, too. Or at least she is trying. She sees me for the person I am. Sad. Aloof. But she annoys me and I annoy her. After all, like they say: “There is no perfect. There will always be a struggle. You just have to pick who you want to struggle with.”
But I know I consume people, hurt them, and get over them so easily that it is like it never happened. I do not like this about me, but it is true.

I want to talk about me, mostly. There are so many ideas that I want to write down and so many wars inside my head. I feel like I am just being concluded or consulted by people who don’t acknowledge the feet my shoes are in. I wonder if I should take the step and put my demons out in the backyard for them to see, but this is risky. What if they wave a hand and calm them? Being understood is scary. And, on the other hand, they can simply run away, seeing how evil I can be. After all, nobody wants to be around someone so gloomy.

Loneliness has followed me all my life. I am fed up of this loneliness. I try everything I can to outrun it, but somehow, at 3 AM, it is there before me, its arms spread in glee, welcoming me back. My home.

I am scared of Love Yous and I Love Yous. I don’t know why, but they make me worry. I don’t return the gesture because I would rather play safe than play love.
But I feel happy about it, too. It is lovely to know that there is someone is out there who enjoys my company and wants to struggle with me.

I think this is all I had to say tonight. Thank you for listening.

Until next letter,
Turin