Learning how to Walk 101

Day 2,738, 04:18 • Published in Belgium Spain • by Chihiroh

Dear eBelgians,
Some countries suffer from widespread hunger and dehydration. None however suffer from an even greater issue than us. eBelgians can't even walk! Amidst the railway union strikes, the tardy busses, the hectic traffic situation and the pollution, this simple problem evolved into a massive crisis, with eBelgians having trouble accessing food ressources or toilet logistics and some are even suspected of playing shady browser games in an obsessive fashion. For those reasons, government eVlad II decided to set up an emergency team, a couple of hard-working professionals with the aim of working out a solution ASAP. After all-nighters a plenty, those are the results.

The Newbie Goof

And its business variant


Pro's:
Easy to learn
Fast paced
Gives a first impression of being busy

Con's:
Not really aerodynamic
No guarantees regarding sex-appeal

The Squared Swing Pace


Pro's:
Great for kicking objects or butts in your way while advancing
Elegant start
Very safe against occasional spikes on the road

Con's:
Marbles can represent fatal danger
Requires a certain elasticity
Some may not appreciate getting their butts kicked

Tune in later for more!

Love,

Chihiroh
not staying classy since day 793