Day 3145 Florida man episode 3 #BREAKINGNEWSCPMIGHTBEFLORIDAMAN

Day 3,145, 13:04 Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom by suezo31


Just stumbled upon a gem of gem ''allegedly'' Mike might be from florida...Also put a few oldies but goodies in there, enjoy!

Florida man episode 3

Voodoo Client Made Threats, Man Tells Cops

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/dissatisfied-voodoo-customer-537920

***I will be awaiting an article explaining why your voodoo didn't work Mike.***

Florida man suspected of dumping 'liquid feces' into pool

Florida man pulls AK-47 during family dispute at grocery store

Florida man punches wife after she insults his male parts


http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/news/police-florida-man-punches-wife-after-she-insults-/nrpJY/

Man Who Went on Mac and Cheese Tirade Is Arrested in Florida

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/man-mac-cheese-tirade-arrested-florida-40195923

Sex or death? Florida woman threatens man with hatchet for refusing nookie

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3664934/Florida-woman-26-threatens-man-hatchet-refusing-sleep-her.html/

FLORIDA MAN APPLIES FOR BUCCANEERS HEAD COACHING JOB

http://www.sportsgrid.com/nfl/florida-man-applies-for-buccaneers-head-coaching-job/

I'm sure a bunch of you guys are thinking of doing exactly the same thing with your local/national football club right now.

Florida man is so sick of living on Lake Horney that he is petitioning to have name changed

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3630496/Florida-man-sick-living-Lake-Horney-petitioned-changed.html

Miami homeowner, bird thieves exchange gunfire; 2 parrots stolen


http://wsvn.com/news/local/miami-homeowner-bird-thieves-exchange-gunfire-2-parrots-stolen/

Florida baby sitter accused of teaching boy to set off acid bombs

http://www.wptv.com/news/state/florida-baby-sitter-accused-of-teaching-boy-to-set-off-acid-bombs

Florida man attacks flea market clerk with samurai sword, beats 82-year-old man with pole, blames ‘poltergeist’

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/florida-man-slashes-clerk-sword-blames-poltergeist-article-1.2525162

A Florida man was rescued after trying to ride a hamster ball to the Bahamas

http://www.orlandoweekly.com/Blogs/archives/2016/04/25/a-florida-man-was-rescued-and-fined-140k-after-trying-to-ride-a-bubble-to-the-bahamas


Florida man becomes internet star over 'stolen' chicken nuggets from Burger King


http://www.news965.com/news/news/local/florida-man-quits-his-job-burger-king-steals-all-c/nqCQP/

Florida man tries to steal python, puts it down his pants


This last one is old but is amongst the best for sure...

Man ''high on meth'' fights off 15 police officers while masturbating

Now that's commitment..
My cum-fu is better than you cum-fu..
#DEFLEPPARDTRIBUTE?

Please leave your own one liners, might be enclined to give the best one a prize

No Florida man was harmed again during this weeks news report, simply couldn't find a funny death, better luck next time.

These are all actual headlines from various ( granted sometimes dubious ) internet news outlets. The Royal Navy Reader is not responsible for any side-effects caused by the reading of this article.

***I'm looking for a meme artist to embelish my articles PM me if interested***

Eso is good :https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsdeC_TC_PI
There Jimmy, the word is in my article now gib votes u feck

Hope ya'll enjoyed, Florida man will be back soon with episode 4.

Cheers,
Suezo